Last day of the year

The day is here. It's the last day of the year 2009!!! Wow. This day came quite fast eh. In the blink of an eye, 2009 is going to pass and it's time to usher in the year 2010!

2009 has been a year of great changes. Many things has happened in year 2009. I thank God for this wonderful year and commit year 2010 to God for more wonderful things that is to come!

Sorry for this short post as I have to go to work soon. Ciao!

Tak Nak

I'm currently on a campaign somewhat similar to Malaysia's old campaign, the TAK NAK campaign. For those who doesn't know what is TAK NAK, TAK NAK means 'NO! Don't WANT!'

So, what am I saying TAK NAK to?

1. Cigarettes

2. Work

3. Emo thoughts

4. Suicidal thoughts

Sigh. Why am I even posting this. I know it's hard for me to say no to these things. Gosh. I so seriously wanna go home. Why am I so emo? I think if it weren't for friends, I would have committed suicide.

Why wouldn't my parents want me to go home? Why would they send me away? Sigh. Am I really that bad? I seriously don't know anything at all at this moment

Same old, same old

Well, I have been working for 5 days. After working for these few days, I have came up to a very very important revelation...

I DO NOT WANT TO BE A CIVIL ENGINEER

I want to work in a white collar job. I'm not saying that blue collar jobs are bad. No. We still need them for our economy. But that is not the job that I would want. At this stage of life, I'm doubting even my choice of taking Mechanical Engineering. Is engineering what I really want? Do I want to work in factories? What do I really want?

Soon, it'll be the end of 2009. You know what that means. Yup. Nostalgic flashbacks to the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and months passed by in year 2009.

I guess I'll just start ranting a bit about my thoughts on year 2009.

Well, 2009 has been a year FULL of changes. It's a year that I learnt a lot of things of the society. My eyes have been constantly opened to both the good side and the bad side of the society. I've gotten to know loads of people all around the world. I have traveled on so many planes this year too. And learnt that AirAsia is better than TigerAirways, in my opinion.

2009 marks a year where I enter University in a foreign land which I don't really know the history nor the geography of the land, let alone set foot before on that particular foreign land, AKA Australia.

2009 marks a year where I have been faced with a lot of challenges and have fell down a lot of times. Most of the times, I have just fell and sat there crying (Well, literally). I probably would have just sat there for the rest of my life if I don't have friends. I thank God for friends and for my Church in Perth. If I don't have the support of friends, I think I won't be here writing this post today.

I'm, by nature, a very emo person. I never knew I could get how emo until I went to Perth, and consequently came to Singapore for a temporary job. I guess 2009 is a year full of strong emotions. It opened my emotions bank and I don't think it would close anytime soon yet.

2009, too, marks a year whereby I've became more independent. And learnt that my parents are very protective of me. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm their only child. But I think I've let them down. There is something that they still don't know, and most of my friends don't know although the fact is straight right in front of face. And this thing that they don't know will hurt them a lot. I'm not sure when I would tell them. But I'll save this for another time. Back to the topic of being independent. I learnt to cook, I learnt to do my own laundry, I learnt to tidy up my room, I learnt to fix up furnitures. That is quite a feat for me I guess xD

Oh well. I have to go out now. To be continued...

Time for another pissy post

Yes. Just then I was opening my facebook. I was feeling slightly emo already since I dislike this job. Then I was greeted with so many notifications. I was slightly ecstatic. But however, it was short lived. I became pissy after that. Why? It's because I'm here in Singapore and I'm missing out on friends' birthday and friends' farewells. Please do NOTICE the plural form I used. Singular, I probably can take it. But plural? GAH! GO FISH!

To top it off, friends in Singapore are going out for lunch together. And guess what? I can't go because I have work. Wth! Work is interfering with my social life. I hate doing things that interfere with my social life. Zzzzz

I think next year, I won't come back to Malaysia. I'll just stay back in Perth and rest there. No parents there. A room of my own, and possibly a whole house to myself. What more do I need? Oh yeah. Money xD

I dunno why but I miss swearing and cursing a lot. I know it's uncouth and rude, but it was who I am. I really really want to swear out loud and like always. But why have I stopped? It's because I've grown up...

Pierced Ears

Today, I pierced my left ear. There wasn't really much pain there. Haha. Minimal pain, I might add. Told my parents, they didn't really scold me. Sigh. I guess they think that I can think for myself already... Plan rebellion failed. LOL

Now, I should start worrying about the pus and/or blood that is to come. I have to look after it properly. Sigh. A bit troublesome, but still, I hope it's worth it. xD

Went to church today. The church is an adopted church by Acts Church in KL. Saw Pastor Sandra at first. I didn't know who she was. Then she was introduced as Pastor Sandra, then I only remembered that I really saw her before in INTI college CF before. I guess this is indeed a small small world.

Last Friday, I went to cell in Eunice's house. Quite fun and quite a huge turnout. 15 people! That is like so many! Got to know new people. Not bad la xD Looking forward to the next cell meeting.

So, I'll be starting my work tomorrow. Wish me luck yea!!!

Broken Promises

I've broken many promises. And lately I broke another promise to myself, not being emo. However, once I stepped out of the house, my spirit is being lifted up. I guess I'm not a person who can stay at home. I need to get out of the house more often. Right now, I'm in Starbucks in Singapore. Nothing much to do actually.

I'm supposed to go to Orchard road to walk about now, but then I feel a bit lazy. Hehe.

I want to get a ear piercing today. But then, I'm starting to chicken out. Hm.... Should I pierce it or not? I'm scared of the pain!!! I'm in a dilemma now, but it's a self inflicted dilemma.

Why do I want to get a piercing? It's because I want to rebel. My parents don't want me to get a piercing. But, I came to Singapore to this job to please them. Yet, they don't know. Thus, I decided to rebel. There are quite a few choices for rebellion. Let me list them down.

1. Taking drugs. Good for rebelling, bad for health and a whole bunch of bad consequences. So I don't think I'll be taking drugs anytime.

2. Smoke. Again, good for rebelling as my parents detest smoking. But then, it's gonna be so bad for my health. Nix to this idea again.

3. Drink all day and all night. Not a bad idea. But then, I'll be moneyless by probably less than a week later. So, no to this idea again.

4. Piercing! This is by far the best I can get. Piercing is pain, but I hope not that pain. My parents abhor piercing, which makes it even better. And it's quite cheap and it's a one time thing. So, BINGO!

@ Singapore

So I'm now in Singapore again... Not for holidays but for work. Sigh. I hate this. Why the hell do I need to get this stupid so called job on my first year of university? I seriously don't want to do this at all. I'm doing this just to please my parents. I'm actually sick of pleasing people already. I shouldn't do this against my will. Sigh...

Oh well. I think next year, I won't come back to Malaysia anymore. I don't want to work. I just want to rest during the holidays. See now. I can't even rest well in my own crib. I have to stay with my uncle until probably a few days before Chinese New Year. At least in Perth, I have my own room to stay in. Full privacy yo.

People are saying that this chance is hard to get. Pardon my language here, but seriously, FUCK IT! I don't want this chance now. It's too early. I fucking just want to rest and relax and not working my ass off some fucking job which has no relevance to my future degree at all. Screw it. The more I think about it, the more I get pissed.

This would be the first time in my whole entire life whereby I don't celebrate Christmas, New Year and my BIRTHDAY with friends. This is pissing me off. I've always loved birthdays and was actually not really looking forward to my next birthday as most of my friends aren't here. And now, I'm not even in Malaysia. Talk about double pissed.. This would be one of my worst experience ever in my life....

I still can't get over how angry I am now. But suicide is not an option, yet I guess. But if I really cannot stand it..... I will....

NOT

suicide still =p

Kinda glad that even though I'm pissed, I still can smile for a while.

150th Post

This is my 150th post on my blog =D

Putting that information aside, I got a reply from Singapore. I can start working now already. The work permit has already been approved. And I'll probably be starting by this Friday. Sigh. It's so fast. I haven't hang out with most of my friends here in Malaysia. I feel kinda sad actually. Sigh. Oh well. I need the money. Have to work.

So, I'm now cramming most of my gatherings together now. Not much time left aye.

Results Smesults

In the hype of holidays, the most dreaded thing of all students has arrived. Yup. Results. Our results was released slightly earlier, bringing doom and destruction to the student's spirit. You should see the amount of destruction exam results can bring. It's so amazing yet terrifying at the same time.

It is always after getting my results that I feel like going back to my bed, take my comforter and cover my entire body and contemplate to stay there for probably 20 years of my life. Or until I feel like drinking alcohol. Which ever comes first.

Not saying my results are really really really bad, but to my standards, they are pretty crappy. I have high expectations on myself. But lately, I have been letting myself down. Sigh. Where is my motivation to study harder? Where is my studious spirit? Where is my smartness? Brain! Why have you forsaken me???

I'm not sure how many times have I repeated this. I'll repeat it again. I vow to study hard for next semester subjects. Oh God. I pray that I will be able to keep this vow this time. But then again, will I have the willpower to strife on? My spirit nearly died last semester. I had really really low morale, probably one of the all time lowest morale I ever had for my entire life up till now.

Well putting results aside, I have my work to worry about. I'm still not sure whether I'll be getting that work permit or not. My application, as of now, is still pending approval. I choose to say approval and not rejection. Hehe. I have to be optimistic aye. I think if it is being approved, I will just go take it. I'll be needing the money. I have not much choice actually. Judging by my bad results, I would need so me real work to take my mind of it.

And on another even lighter note, I got a new external hard drive (my 3rd one) and a new laptop (my 2nd one). This external hard drive is so awesome. It's 1TB! It's so HUGE! Can't wait to store most of my stuff into this good old thing. As for the laptop, it's another Acer laptop. It's running on Windows 7! This operating system looks so awesome! But I still need to figure out a lot of stuff. Still trying to get used to that new operating system.

So, I'm now trying to look out in a more positive way of thinking. I hope everything goes well for me next year. Gotta go tinker with my new lappie! Till then~

Home is where the heart is

I'm finally back in hot and humid and now rainy Kuala Lumpur, the place where I kinda belong to. It feels kinda good to be home. At first it seems foreign, but then I settled in back to my old routine life quite quickly.

Basically now, my life revolves around going out and in front of my computer. I have nothing better to do. Kinda lazy to do some reading too. Hm... When did I start to be this lazy. Probably I've always been this lazy. Haha...

Money is running out. My application for the work permit in Singapore has been submitted. I'll have to wait probably for a week or two to see whether is it gonna be approved or not. There are pros and cons to both scenarios. If I get it, I would be getting income but then I won't be able to hang out with friends and I am going to be emo and very lonely. On the other hand, if I didn't get it, I would probably be happier and not kill myself in the end. If you don't see me next year, I would have probably died of loneliness (or probably suicide).

Now currently I'm practicing Clare de Lune on the piano. Gosh! It's so freaking hard. Actually it's not that hard, but my sight reading sucks like hell. However on the bright side, I managed to get the tune. Haha. Gotta practice harder yo.

And by the way, my house is now wireless. I mean the internet. I managed to install the wireless modem. So now, I'm online in my room! I have never been online in my room before. It's so fun. Haha.

Anyway, I'm going to die of boredom soon. People! Call me out!