A simple plea

Everyone has a dream. It doesn't whether is it a short term dream like passing the test that you have the next day, or is it a long term dream, like having the perfect family. A dream is still a dream. I constantly find myself pleading with God. Constantly whining, wanting something better than what I have now. At times, I might even question myself. Why isn't God answering?

Yea. I know that God has his own timing and that God will give you the BEST that he could give you. But still, I doubt. I question. I wonder. I'm guilty of doubts. I'm always doubtful, which leads to my indecisiveness.

But still, as time passes, I still hold on to the promise that He gave me. In Matthew 7:9-11, it says:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give ood gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Not only this verse gives me hope. In Matthew 6:26, it says:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

These two verses give me the strength to continue to seek Him in every single thing.

As exams approaches and the last of assignments are meant to be handed in, stress levels are rising. But yet, I believe, everything will turn out in my favor. Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is Him.

Oh man. This song. Brings back a lot of memories. The lyrics, in Mandarin are as below.

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续
一定会继续

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续

我知道你寂寞
一个人确实好难过
思念是一种痛
没有你叫我怎么活
身边充满诱惑
不坚定就容易犯错
你是否能看见未来的收获
你愿意再耐心等候

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续
让我们一起演完

Listening to this songs, brings back my high school memories with my friends. I miss them a lot. I miss the times when we used to stay in the canteen to eat and chat. Sigh. Those were fun filled times. On my 18th birthday, they made me the best birthday gift ever. A scrap book filled with pictures and comments. Those comments reminds me of how I was during high school.

I wasn't the best person in high school. I swore a lot, talked a lot, laughed a lot. As bad as it might seem, but that was me. I have no idea where my old self has gone now. It seems like it has just disappeared. I miss those carefree days. Well, not really carefree. I still stressed and worried about school work. But I was with supportive friends. They are friends where I can tell them my secrets and be confident that they won't tell them out. Up till date, I think they were the only people that I told my life's greatest secret to.

They are really the angels in disguise that are around me. Gosh. I miss them loads. Life goes on. That is what everyone says. I understand that. But I can't help but think of the past. I know it's not good. But the past is what keeps me going. I miss them. They help me make me into what I am today. They were the best gift high school could ever give to me.

This post is dedicated to Zhi Heng, Jie Ying, Bi Yun, Li Ning, Jun Jie and Jun Wen.

Week Long (Or Should I say Short?) Holidays

Wow. In a blink of an eye, the holidays have ended. While I haven't really done a lot of things during this period of time, a lot of things happened. Let me start with a sad one.

Bryan, a friend of mine from High School, whom I knew since Form 1, passed away. I was very shocked when I learnt of the news. This is very sudden. Apparently he was cycling in US and he got hit by a trailier. And that trailer just went away. Just like that. After knowing about this, I realised that life, is short. Very short. This is the age where we all think we are capable of doing everything under the sun. Only the sky is our limit. But yet, we forget that death is cruel and quick.

Although I'm not that close to Bryan, and kinda lost touch after we left high school, I was still quite devastated by this news. This is the first time that I had a friend that kinda grew up with me (I have knew him since Form 1, and we were in the same class again in Form 5) has just passed away so sudden. It's a lost that I'm sure many will mourn.

On a lighter, yet pissed mode, I hereby announce that I'm going to be a loner, and find joy in being a loner. I'm going to change. I'm going to start to just care about myself and not for other people. Anymore. Period. Lately, a lot of things had happened that made me decide to do this. If I were going to continue to think like last time, I think I would not survive it and become insane. I'm making a change. Period.