The final days

Wow. 2010. It's coming to an end. Another year is going to pass. Where does all the time go to? I felt like it's just yesterday that 2010 just started. In just a few snaps, it's gone. And I'm going to get ready to usher in the year 2011, my 3rd year in Australia, my 3rd year in UWA.

I just can't fathom that I'm going to finish my university life in 2 more years. And then I'll be getting along with the next phase of life. Work. Oh man. I don't want to think about it first.

I hope 2011 will be better than 2010. To be honest, I don't really remember what major happened in 2010. It was an okay year. But not a really great one. There were falling outs, new friendships, stronger friendships, infatuations and more. I guess that is just how I roll.

I'll be turning 21 next year too. In my opinion, that is the optimum age to be in. I don't want to grow older nor younger than 21. I want to stay there for the rest of my life. But then again, I might change my mind when time comes. Who cares though.

I want to end 2010 and start 2011 with a great bang. I want 2011 to be a good year. A year where I can find good relationships and good results. And not forgetting a good internship.

But still, I thank God for the year 2010. I learnt quite a lot of things this year. I learnt that I am actually expandable. I learnt that there are still many facets of people that I still don't know. I learnt that the best, has yet to come.

With that, I anticipate year 2011. The best, has indeed yet to come.

What if?

Life is full of what if(s). I find myself constantly asking myself. What if I did that? What if I told him that? What if I went to the states? What if I told her I loved her? What if I have continued on in the gangster group? What if I took drugs? What if I studied hard?

What leads on to what if questions? Regrets. And why do I have regrets? Because of choices I have made and the inability to see into the future. This reminds me of a poem which I think I have posted before in my blog. It's one of my favourite poem of all time. The road less travelled by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

This is absolutely one of the best poem of all time. I am telling this with a sigh now. I take the road less traveled. Always. Since young. I went into Primary School, Secondary School, College and University without knowing many people beforehand. I just thrust myself into a world that I am unfamiliar with and I try to be resilient.

Is this a mistake? Is this why I always ask what if this and what if that?

People always tell me not to look into the past. If I look into the past, I would only see things that I missed and not look at things that I have obtained. Well, I can't help looking into the past. It's only when I see the things that I didn't achieved that I would appreciate the things that I have manage to do.

Life still goes on ayway

The aftermath

I just checked my results for my 4th semester in UWA. It's not a pretty site. It's probably one of the worst results I have ever gotten in my whole entire life. I flunk 3 of my units. Well, according to my standards, not uni standards. Gosh. This is bad.

I'm really failing uni. I'm not doing well at all. This is very very very bad. Is it time for me to quit uni? Should I just really quit uni? I'm like wasting my parents money here. I feel like a failure.

Oh well. Let this be a wake up call. I have to be more hardworking next semester already! Sigh. i know I have been telling myself this every semester. But I can't seem to set my priorities straight. God, help me please.

Knowing a 2nd Language

I'm working part time in a Japanese restaurant. It's quite fun to serve people. You get to see many different kind of people. Cheap people, wasteful people, funny people etc etc.

So when I work, I speak to customers with this fake-and-fail Australian accent. So, most of the people presume that I don't know other languages other than English. It's fun to listen in to their conversations. Some complain saying the food is little, some even asked one another why do I seem so scared. LOL.

I had 2 interviews in the past 2 weeks. None got back to me yet. Sigh. 1 from Maccas and 1 from Optus. I might get a response from Optus by tonight. Gosh. I really hope I get this job. I need a secure casual time job unlike my job in the Japanese restaurant. However, this week, I have been getting some afternoon shifts. So YEA! I have some income! Woohoo!!

IT'S THE HOLS!

The summer holidays are finally here. I can rest now finally. Finals was kinda harsh towards the end. It started off nice. Then it was downhill. But oh well. Results are going to come out in about 2 weeks time. I can only hope for the best.

I'm going back only on the 17th of January. Which means, I will celebrate my 21st bday here in Perth! I wonder who is left here to celebrate it with me...

I'm now in the mist of finding a new job. I had an interview with Maccas today. Hope I will get that job. Why do I need a job? BECAUSE OF CAR REPAIRS!

A few days ago, my car overheated and I sent it to the repair shop. After replacing the water pump and timing belt, I was told that the top part of my car's engine is kinda gone too. And guess how much it costs to change that part of the engine? 1.5k. Yes. You saw that right. 1.5k. Not $150. Sigh. I really need a job to cover that repair.

Other than that, I have the whole house to myself. I can walk around naked too if I want. Haha. Not that I do that, of course. There are both pros and cons to staying alone. But amazingly, I don't feel that emo staying alone. I feel just all right. Oh well. I guess I'm changing for the better.

Oh yeah. Last week, I went on a road trip up North. 12 hours drive. I drove 6 out of the 12 hours. It was quite tiring. We went ATV and snorkeling in this place called Coral Bay. The view was breathtaking. It was quite amazing to see God's amazing creation that is still somewhat left untouched by human hands.

I'm looking forward to going crabbing in mid December with friends. It should be fun catching crabs and then cooking it in the middle of the night. Yum yum.

A simple plea

Everyone has a dream. It doesn't whether is it a short term dream like passing the test that you have the next day, or is it a long term dream, like having the perfect family. A dream is still a dream. I constantly find myself pleading with God. Constantly whining, wanting something better than what I have now. At times, I might even question myself. Why isn't God answering?

Yea. I know that God has his own timing and that God will give you the BEST that he could give you. But still, I doubt. I question. I wonder. I'm guilty of doubts. I'm always doubtful, which leads to my indecisiveness.

But still, as time passes, I still hold on to the promise that He gave me. In Matthew 7:9-11, it says:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give ood gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Not only this verse gives me hope. In Matthew 6:26, it says:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

These two verses give me the strength to continue to seek Him in every single thing.

As exams approaches and the last of assignments are meant to be handed in, stress levels are rising. But yet, I believe, everything will turn out in my favor. Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is Him.

Oh man. This song. Brings back a lot of memories. The lyrics, in Mandarin are as below.

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续
一定会继续

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续

我知道你寂寞
一个人确实好难过
思念是一种痛
没有你叫我怎么活
身边充满诱惑
不坚定就容易犯错
你是否能看见未来的收获
你愿意再耐心等候

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续
让我们一起演完

Listening to this songs, brings back my high school memories with my friends. I miss them a lot. I miss the times when we used to stay in the canteen to eat and chat. Sigh. Those were fun filled times. On my 18th birthday, they made me the best birthday gift ever. A scrap book filled with pictures and comments. Those comments reminds me of how I was during high school.

I wasn't the best person in high school. I swore a lot, talked a lot, laughed a lot. As bad as it might seem, but that was me. I have no idea where my old self has gone now. It seems like it has just disappeared. I miss those carefree days. Well, not really carefree. I still stressed and worried about school work. But I was with supportive friends. They are friends where I can tell them my secrets and be confident that they won't tell them out. Up till date, I think they were the only people that I told my life's greatest secret to.

They are really the angels in disguise that are around me. Gosh. I miss them loads. Life goes on. That is what everyone says. I understand that. But I can't help but think of the past. I know it's not good. But the past is what keeps me going. I miss them. They help me make me into what I am today. They were the best gift high school could ever give to me.

This post is dedicated to Zhi Heng, Jie Ying, Bi Yun, Li Ning, Jun Jie and Jun Wen.