Results Smesults

In the hype of holidays, the most dreaded thing of all students has arrived. Yup. Results. Our results was released slightly earlier, bringing doom and destruction to the student's spirit. You should see the amount of destruction exam results can bring. It's so amazing yet terrifying at the same time.

It is always after getting my results that I feel like going back to my bed, take my comforter and cover my entire body and contemplate to stay there for probably 20 years of my life. Or until I feel like drinking alcohol. Which ever comes first.

Not saying my results are really really really bad, but to my standards, they are pretty crappy. I have high expectations on myself. But lately, I have been letting myself down. Sigh. Where is my motivation to study harder? Where is my studious spirit? Where is my smartness? Brain! Why have you forsaken me???

I'm not sure how many times have I repeated this. I'll repeat it again. I vow to study hard for next semester subjects. Oh God. I pray that I will be able to keep this vow this time. But then again, will I have the willpower to strife on? My spirit nearly died last semester. I had really really low morale, probably one of the all time lowest morale I ever had for my entire life up till now.

Well putting results aside, I have my work to worry about. I'm still not sure whether I'll be getting that work permit or not. My application, as of now, is still pending approval. I choose to say approval and not rejection. Hehe. I have to be optimistic aye. I think if it is being approved, I will just go take it. I'll be needing the money. I have not much choice actually. Judging by my bad results, I would need so me real work to take my mind of it.

And on another even lighter note, I got a new external hard drive (my 3rd one) and a new laptop (my 2nd one). This external hard drive is so awesome. It's 1TB! It's so HUGE! Can't wait to store most of my stuff into this good old thing. As for the laptop, it's another Acer laptop. It's running on Windows 7! This operating system looks so awesome! But I still need to figure out a lot of stuff. Still trying to get used to that new operating system.

So, I'm now trying to look out in a more positive way of thinking. I hope everything goes well for me next year. Gotta go tinker with my new lappie! Till then~

Home is where the heart is

I'm finally back in hot and humid and now rainy Kuala Lumpur, the place where I kinda belong to. It feels kinda good to be home. At first it seems foreign, but then I settled in back to my old routine life quite quickly.

Basically now, my life revolves around going out and in front of my computer. I have nothing better to do. Kinda lazy to do some reading too. Hm... When did I start to be this lazy. Probably I've always been this lazy. Haha...

Money is running out. My application for the work permit in Singapore has been submitted. I'll have to wait probably for a week or two to see whether is it gonna be approved or not. There are pros and cons to both scenarios. If I get it, I would be getting income but then I won't be able to hang out with friends and I am going to be emo and very lonely. On the other hand, if I didn't get it, I would probably be happier and not kill myself in the end. If you don't see me next year, I would have probably died of loneliness (or probably suicide).

Now currently I'm practicing Clare de Lune on the piano. Gosh! It's so freaking hard. Actually it's not that hard, but my sight reading sucks like hell. However on the bright side, I managed to get the tune. Haha. Gotta practice harder yo.

And by the way, my house is now wireless. I mean the internet. I managed to install the wireless modem. So now, I'm online in my room! I have never been online in my room before. It's so fun. Haha.

Anyway, I'm going to die of boredom soon. People! Call me out!

Aloha from Singapore

Greetings! I'm now in Singapore lazing around. This is my last night in Singapore though. Haha. I'll be heading back to Malaysia tomorrow night. Nothing much to do here.

Lazy to type. Cheers =D

Last day

Today is the last day I'm here in Perth for the year. Gosh. I can still remember vividly the last day I was in Malaysia before I came to Perth. I still remember what I said, and yet I didn't fulfill it. I can't believe time passes so fast. Soon, it'll be a year gone and I'll be another year older. It's unbelievable that I've already spent like 2 semesters here in UWA. It's quite amazing how time flies.

2 semesters of full blown emotions. This year is the year where nearly all of my emotions surfaced. And in full blast mode. I guess I'm not as independent as I like to think I am. I'm very dependent on friends. Once I'm alone, emoness washes over me, leaving me vulnerable to a lot of things. I have to learn to keep that away. Will I be able to do that?

Anyway, for the past 4 days, I was away down South at Denmark (It's in Western Australia) and Albany. It was hell lot of fun! My perspective on some people changed drastically during this camp. I guess when they say 'you can't judge a book by its cover', they are right. This is one lesson that I learnt. The down south trip was AWESOME! By the way, I'm beginning to keep saying the word awesome. It's such an awesome word! xD

The scenery down south was SPECTACULAR! The scenery was absolutely breathtaking. Our God is indeed a great and wonderful God. I stood on the rocks above the ocean, taking in the cold and chilly sea breeze. It was so wonderful. It's just so freaking peaceful down there. It's a great relaxing thing to do right before I go back to the hustle and bustle of city life.

The fellowship was really awesome too! There were 19 of us that went down South in 3 cars, a Tarago, IMax and a Holden. It was so fun! Road trips are absolutely the BOMB! I want to do it every semester. I hope I have the money. Haha

Speaking of money, my mom wants me to work T___T She managed to find me a job (technically it's my uncle in Singapore) at a civil engineering firm. Not sure if I could get it. I'm having mixed feelings here. I want to work to get the experience and money. But I want to have fun at the same time too. Sigh. It's so troublesome to think eh.

Anyhow, I'm going to Singapore tonight. And Malaysia on 30th. Hope I have a great time! By the way, here are some of the pictures that I took while I was down South.

This is when I'm up on the 61 meters high tree. Scary yo!

This is the sunset. Awesome view.

Looking at the sea on the rocks. =D

This is a view of the sea as we pass by Albany. That, my dearies, is a Cruise Ship.

Lonely...

I'm now all alone at home. My housemates have flown back to Malaysia. Sigh. The house is so quiet. Making me emo~~

Anyway, I'll be going down south for 4 days next week. Then I'll be flying off to Singapore on Friday night, reaching on Saturday morning (Freakishly early in the morning). Hm... Can't wait.

Feeling so down that I don't feel like blogging much. Looking forward to be with people~

Bury the hatchets?

Things might not return to the same, scars shall always be there. I'm just gonna see how is the wound going to heal and to what extend will the wound heal. The emotional wound is a very tricky thing. It takes a long time to heal. Like most people say, time is a great healer. I'm not saying that it is not. But yet, time is probably one of the more complicated things in life. Some say that time is a great healer but some says time is cruel. How can something be good and bad at the same time?

It is probably like fire. There is a saying that goes like "Fire is your best friend when it is small and your enemy when it is big and uncontrollable". Time is somewhat similar to this, and yet there is a significant difference to it. Gosh. I don't know what am I rambling on now.

Why is life so tough? Why isn't there a reset button for life? No. Suicide is definitely not an option here. Yea yea. With suicide, you can run away from it. But my religion teaches me that Suicide is bad. And I don't plan to suicide anytime soon, nor for the rest of my time on earth. So people out there, don't worry.

Time to bury the hatchet, put the past behind me and try to do my own damage control now... Sigh. I'm always stuck with damage control. Someone help me do it? xD

Mistake?

Mistakes. Everyone makes them. Not many learn from them. Even throughout history, you can see that the once great leaders made severe mistakes and that led to the death of thousands. Thank God that my mistakes normally just involves me, myself and I. But the emotional cut is sometimes too hard to bear.

There are many decisions in life that I really regretted. Basically, coming to Perth is one. I still have 3 more years here in Perth. 3 years later, would I look back and just laugh at myself for regretting at this decision, just like how I laugh at myself for once hating Chong Hwa with a vengeance?

Basically for those who knows me extremely well, or maybe even for those who just know me on the surface, they might know that I am a person who seriously hates to be left out. I thought after moving in with friends, I wouldn't be feel that way anymore. But guess what? I'm wrong. Which led me to a point to question my own choice. Did I make the right choice to move in with them? But I guess it's kinda too late to change my mind again. I have to just stick with it. Sigh. This is seriously hell...

All I can do now is just pray for a peace of mind. And not think about it anymore. I asked my Cell leader what to do. She told me to tell them. I guess I will tell them, if they do it another time. But probably they were unintentional, but I don't know and I don't wanna know.

I just want to have friends...