This is my fight

The blog has moved!

2011-06-08T17:06:00.001+08:00

I've moved my blog. New address:

http://www.raymondow.com

Gimme a shout there if you want me to relink you.

悲哀的生活

2011-06-08T00:21:00.002+08:00

唉，考试又即将来临了。好烦哦。我真的不想去温习了。整天在温习，怎么不会闷。

我说啊，我现在真的搞不懂我的心情。除了读书，我也在烦生活的挫折。人生，为什么要那么的痛苦啊。读书已经够烦了，现在还要烦友情和爱情。再加上我又想买这个那个，恐怕钱不够用了。

我还有大约18天就回大马了！我真的迫不及待！回到去，我就会整天吃喝玩乐！哇哈哈。真是我的天地了！

你是不是觉得很奇怪我为什么用华文打出这个部落各哦！这是因为，我实在太太太太不想读书了！！！！！！

没办法。下个星期就考试了。应该去温吧。

掰掰

The end is near, for this semester, that is

2011-06-02T12:55:00.002+08:00

It's the last week of uni. Die. Finals are coming in about 2 weeks time. Shitzzz. I need to study but yet, I'm still feeling SO LAZY! To add on it, I just downloaded all 7 seasons of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and all 5 seasons of Queer As Folk. LOL. Damn. But then again, I do study a little everyday. I do at least 1 tute sheet 1 day. Which is good, kinda.

I think university is getting duller and duller as the days pass by. I remember semester 1 was a great and awesome time. And then a whole lot of incidents happened after that. And it started to go down hill from there. It's now so boring. And I'm still at home at 1pm on a Thursday afternoon. I should be studying! Gah!

So I have 1 year and 2 semesters left. At least I hope I do, if I don't fail any units. I so seriously need to pull up my grades. Prita, Erik and I were talking about our average mark the other day. Prita was saying how low was hers and Adrian's was quite high. I'm only standing on 69 (nice number by the way. Teehee). Then Prita just had to ask Erik how much is his. SIGH. So demoralized man. He average mark is like *WHOOOSHHHH* HELL HIGH! =(

So, while hoping that my marks will magically climb, I'm still sitting here in my room strumming my guitar and typing this blog. The way about it. I should get studying.

Wish me luck.

And it's back

2011-05-07T10:28:00.003+08:00

The time of mugging has come back. Uni has started it's momentum again. But sigh. I'm still so so so so so very lazy to study. I know that my finals is coming in like about 5 more weeks time but yet, I'm still lazing around everyday doing stuff not related to uni. Why am I such a lazy bum?

Things aside, swot vac was quite fun. The road trip was fun. People got drunk and it was fun seeing how they acted when they are drunk. There were like 10 people down south and the ratio of girl to guy was 1 to 4. And there were 13 bottle of hard liquor. Fun eh? Drinking spree!

I can't really think of whatelse to blog about. Life has been just like that. Nothing much to expect at all. Boy. I'm beginning to sound like a bore.

Swot Vac!

2011-04-25T22:01:00.002+08:00

It's the study break! I have a lot of stuff to catch up on, but who cares atm. Surely not me.

BUT ANYWAY! I'M GOING FOR A ROADTRIP TOMORROW! I can now feel the excitement. First road trip of the year. Should be a fun one. 3 days 2 nighs down to Dunsborough. 10 people, 2 cars. Should be fun. I hope. Fingers crossed.

However, I would be missing the footie practice this week. It was fun playing footie last week. Interesting to pick up a new sport. And since I am in Australia, it would be good for me to pick up footie since it is an aussie sport.

On a lighter note, I have been drinking quite a bit for the past week. Becoming an alcoholic! OH NO! But wait a second. I don't drink till I'm drunk. I'm a responsible drinker. Wait a second. That is what all pre-alcoholics say. DIE! Oh well. I'll just continue drinking. But not overdrinking of course.

The Asian Mentality

2011-04-14T09:58:00.002+08:00

Being Asian sucks at time.

I was doing PROSH this year, which is a charity event where we have to dress up and head off somewhere in the early morning to sell a satirical newspaper to raise money for some foundations. Being the Asian that I am, I'm naturally shy. Gosh man. I didn't really dare to walk up to strangers and ask them whether they wanna get a copy of the newspaper. I had to muster all my courage and kept my thick skin on and ask strangers. It's so hard man.

Why must Asians be such introverts? Maybe I'm stereotyping Asians. But gosh man. It's so hard to just go up to a stranger, smile and talk. I need to work on that already. It's not like I'm going up to a stranger and asking him/her to buy a condom and have sex with me. Now that, would be awkward.

Another stupid Asian mentality comes during dinner. Oh gosh man. It's the last piece of chicken! I want it but I'm too Asian to grab the last piece! What if the others think I'm greedy? What if... what if... It gets on your nerve sometimes. If you want it, just take it man. But then again, I do it most of the time. SIGH....

But rest assured, I'm still proud of my Asian heritage.

Start of the 5th week

2011-03-28T20:03:00.002+08:00

And so we proceed into the 5th week of uni. How time flies when you are in uni aye. I have sinking feeling that this semester might be quite hard. There are seriously loads of stuff that I dont' even understand. So much for 'trying' to study every week.

Other than university, nothing much has happened in my life. Life is just so boring. Sigh. Nothing much to blog about either. I'm just blogging for the sake of updating it, since I haven't been really updating it much lately.

Last Saturday, I went to the beach with the International Student Society committee. I feel so embarrassed man. ALL of the guys there are so athletic and they all have nice bodies. I need to gym more!!! But then again, I'm such a lazy ass person. Maybe I should consider liposuction. HAHA!

By golly. My life is seriously really boring. When did I became such a bore?

2nd week of uni

2011-03-13T00:18:00.002+08:00

Hello! I'm back to blogging for a while =D. There are so many things happening around the world now. Fights in Libya, earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Is the world coming to an end? Someone asked me to read Matthew 24 and the whole chapter goes like this:

¹And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.
²And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.
³And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?
⁴And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.
⁵For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.
⁶And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
⁷For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
⁸All these are the beginning of sorrows.
⁹Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
¹⁰And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
¹¹And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.
¹²And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
¹³But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
¹⁴And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
¹⁵When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)
¹⁶Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
¹⁷Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
¹⁸Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.
¹⁹And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!
²⁰But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:
²¹For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.
²²And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.
²³Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.
²⁴For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.
²⁵Behold, I have told you before.
²⁶Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.
²⁷For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
²⁸For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.
²⁹Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:
³⁰And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
³¹And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.
³²Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh:
³³So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors.
³⁴Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.
³⁵Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
³⁶But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
³⁷But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
³⁸For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
³⁹And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
⁴⁰Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
⁴¹Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
⁴²Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.
⁴³But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.
⁴⁴Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.
⁴⁵Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season?
⁴⁶Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.
⁴⁷Verily I say unto you, That he shall make him ruler over all his goods.
⁴⁸But and if that evil servant shall say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming;
⁴⁹And shall begin to smite his fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken;
⁵⁰The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of,
⁵¹And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Personally, I think this verse is coming to pass. But then I don't know or sure that it is the time. I guess I can only trust God on what is happening and just not doubt him. But being human, I guess it's just natural for me to ask why and doubt. This chapter really gives me a lot of things to think about.

On a lighter note, I went for Far East Movement. And guess what?

Bwahaha. I managed to get a picture with Jason Roh of Far East Movement. They came to Perth to do the opening act for Rihanna's concert tour. But they were in Metros (a club in the city) to perform for like an hour. AND I WAS THERE =DDDDD It was quite fun being in a club again. But I think going to club brings out the uglier side of me sometimes. So it's probably not a good idea for me to keep clubbing.

It's going to be the 3rd week of uni soon. I'm actually quite scared for all of my units. It's quite tough and I'm a very lazy lazy lazy person. Die. But I will try to study. I haven't skipped any class... yet. I don't plan on skipping any as of now.

I'm joining quite a lot of things this year. I'm trying to be active in university to perk up my resume. My resume is just too empty.

A wisp of memory

2011-02-24T07:59:00.002+08:00

Dear Sir,

You're one of the best teacher I have ever had. You taught me maths in ways I have never imagined. People said that you teach fast. I'd say you teach just at the right pace. You've made me love maths. Your smartness never cease to astound me. Everyday, you would just bring a mug of water to class and just teach through memory. That, is what real teaching is about I guess.

I still remember you set all those hard questions. We would all complain. Remembering those times, I think it was actually quite fun. We held pride when we even got 1 or 2 marks over 40. It was still something good that we achieved.

I remember many things happened in form . I still remember the time you smiled when you heard the discipline teacher talk about 'aluba' through the school intercom. I could still remember the time when your sickness hit you and you fell in the classroom. Boy, were we all so worried about you. I could still remember us all making paper cranes to pray for your fast recovery. Lo and behold, you came back within 1 week to teach us again. Your dedication knows no boundaries at all. I was very amazed. I believed nothing could hold you back.

After I left high school, I only saw you once. And I remember you asking me what I was studying and other stuff. I think that was the only time I saw you after I left high school. Then, you left Chong Hwa to go Taylors to teach.

I never knew that this day would come so early to tell you to rest in peace, sir. I'm sincerely devastated by this news. Until we meet again, dear sir.

Your student of two years,

Raymond (and your namesake)

2 more weeks

2011-02-12T13:30:00.001+08:00

Enough said

Try - Asher Book

2011-02-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don’t leave me
The world is catching up to you
while your running away to chase your dream
Its time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
and maybe im not ready

but I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

if I sing you a song would you sing along
or wait till im gone , oh how we push and pull
if I give you my heart would you just play the part

or tell me it’s the start of something beautiful
am I catching up to you
while your running away , to chase your dreams
its time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
and maybe im not ready

Hello Stranger

2011-02-08T10:43:00.000+08:00

It has been a long long long time since I've blogged. But since I have nothing to do at all today, I'll just blog for the fun of it.

I'm already half way through my holidays. University is going to start again in about 3 weeks time. I don't wanna go back to Perth. I just wanna quit uni and rot for the rest of my life. But oh well. I have to conform to social norms and finish uni. How annoying is that. But still, I guess it is better than bumming around for the rest of my life.

This has been one of the most tiring holidays in my entire life. I've went to a few places around Malaysia and to Thailand. It's so tiring to fly. Even thinking of flying makes me wanna puke already. But those are good times though. Traveling is fun xD

Malaysia is still in the Chinese New Year mode. Many Chinese shops are still closed. It's only the 6th day of CNY. But I'm already bored. However, BRING ON THE NEW YEAR GOODIES! The downside to this year's new year is that I didn't get to eat any pineapple tarts. I want my pineapple tarts! Maybe I should bake them. But then again, it's so much hassle to bake it. I'll just wait for it to magically appear in my pantry =D

I'm going to just laze around

I'm old...

2011-01-13T00:25:00.002+08:00

So it is done. I am officially 21 already. Wow. 21 years on earth. 21 years of living. 21 years of breathing. Damn this sudden rush of emotions. I feel so old. 21. Wow. What a milestone for myself.

In this short span of 21 years, a lot of things has happened. God has indeed being good to me and blessed me with a lot of things. I know sometimes I'm blind and oblivious to the wonderful things that befall me. But rest assured that I'm still thankful for those times.

I'm feeling kinda nostalgic now. I'M 21! Gosh! I'm old and ancient! No offense to those who are elder than 21 xD I know my time will come soon. Haha.

But anyway, I can't wait to go back to Malaysia. To my family, to my friends and to my doggie. I miss them. Loads.

I hope that this would be a year full of hope and joy!

21

2011-01-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

I'm going to be 21 soon!

I pray that I'll be living the life! Looking forward to a good year ahead. The best has yet to come. I hold on firmly on that.

I'm quite lazy to type more. I'll type more about my pressies and stuff on my next post xD

The final days

2010-12-30T21:37:00.002+08:00

Wow. 2010. It's coming to an end. Another year is going to pass. Where does all the time go to? I felt like it's just yesterday that 2010 just started. In just a few snaps, it's gone. And I'm going to get ready to usher in the year 2011, my 3rd year in Australia, my 3rd year in UWA.

I just can't fathom that I'm going to finish my university life in 2 more years. And then I'll be getting along with the next phase of life. Work. Oh man. I don't want to think about it first.

I hope 2011 will be better than 2010. To be honest, I don't really remember what major happened in 2010. It was an okay year. But not a really great one. There were falling outs, new friendships, stronger friendships, infatuations and more. I guess that is just how I roll.

I'll be turning 21 next year too. In my opinion, that is the optimum age to be in. I don't want to grow older nor younger than 21. I want to stay there for the rest of my life. But then again, I might change my mind when time comes. Who cares though.

I want to end 2010 and start 2011 with a great bang. I want 2011 to be a good year. A year where I can find good relationships and good results. And not forgetting a good internship.

But still, I thank God for the year 2010. I learnt quite a lot of things this year. I learnt that I am actually expandable. I learnt that there are still many facets of people that I still don't know. I learnt that the best, has yet to come.

With that, I anticipate year 2011. The best, has indeed yet to come.

What if?

2010-12-11T12:54:00.002+08:00

Life is full of what if(s). I find myself constantly asking myself. What if I did that? What if I told him that? What if I went to the states? What if I told her I loved her? What if I have continued on in the gangster group? What if I took drugs? What if I studied hard?

What leads on to what if questions? Regrets. And why do I have regrets? Because of choices I have made and the inability to see into the future. This reminds me of a poem which I think I have posted before in my blog. It's one of my favourite poem of all time. The road less travelled by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

This is absolutely one of the best poem of all time. I am telling this with a sigh now. I take the road less traveled. Always. Since young. I went into Primary School, Secondary School, College and University without knowing many people beforehand. I just thrust myself into a world that I am unfamiliar with and I try to be resilient.

Is this a mistake? Is this why I always ask what if this and what if that?

People always tell me not to look into the past. If I look into the past, I would only see things that I missed and not look at things that I have obtained. Well, I can't help looking into the past. It's only when I see the things that I didn't achieved that I would appreciate the things that I have manage to do.

Life still goes on ayway

The aftermath

2010-12-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

I just checked my results for my 4th semester in UWA. It's not a pretty site. It's probably one of the worst results I have ever gotten in my whole entire life. I flunk 3 of my units. Well, according to my standards, not uni standards. Gosh. This is bad.

I'm really failing uni. I'm not doing well at all. This is very very very bad. Is it time for me to quit uni? Should I just really quit uni? I'm like wasting my parents money here. I feel like a failure.

Oh well. Let this be a wake up call. I have to be more hardworking next semester already! Sigh. i know I have been telling myself this every semester. But I can't seem to set my priorities straight. God, help me please.

Knowing a 2nd Language

2010-12-09T16:15:00.002+08:00

I'm working part time in a Japanese restaurant. It's quite fun to serve people. You get to see many different kind of people. Cheap people, wasteful people, funny people etc etc.

So when I work, I speak to customers with this fake-and-fail Australian accent. So, most of the people presume that I don't know other languages other than English. It's fun to listen in to their conversations. Some complain saying the food is little, some even asked one another why do I seem so scared. LOL.

I had 2 interviews in the past 2 weeks. None got back to me yet. Sigh. 1 from Maccas and 1 from Optus. I might get a response from Optus by tonight. Gosh. I really hope I get this job. I need a secure casual time job unlike my job in the Japanese restaurant. However, this week, I have been getting some afternoon shifts. So YEA! I have some income! Woohoo!!

IT'S THE HOLS!

2010-12-01T19:52:00.002+08:00

The summer holidays are finally here. I can rest now finally. Finals was kinda harsh towards the end. It started off nice. Then it was downhill. But oh well. Results are going to come out in about 2 weeks time. I can only hope for the best.

I'm going back only on the 17th of January. Which means, I will celebrate my 21st bday here in Perth! I wonder who is left here to celebrate it with me...

I'm now in the mist of finding a new job. I had an interview with Maccas today. Hope I will get that job. Why do I need a job? BECAUSE OF CAR REPAIRS!

A few days ago, my car overheated and I sent it to the repair shop. After replacing the water pump and timing belt, I was told that the top part of my car's engine is kinda gone too. And guess how much it costs to change that part of the engine? 1.5k. Yes. You saw that right. 1.5k. Not $150. Sigh. I really need a job to cover that repair.

Other than that, I have the whole house to myself. I can walk around naked too if I want. Haha. Not that I do that, of course. There are both pros and cons to staying alone. But amazingly, I don't feel that emo staying alone. I feel just all right. Oh well. I guess I'm changing for the better.

Oh yeah. Last week, I went on a road trip up North. 12 hours drive. I drove 6 out of the 12 hours. It was quite tiring. We went ATV and snorkeling in this place called Coral Bay. The view was breathtaking. It was quite amazing to see God's amazing creation that is still somewhat left untouched by human hands.

I'm looking forward to going crabbing in mid December with friends. It should be fun catching crabs and then cooking it in the middle of the night. Yum yum.

A simple plea

2010-10-28T22:37:00.002+08:00

Everyone has a dream. It doesn't whether is it a short term dream like passing the test that you have the next day, or is it a long term dream, like having the perfect family. A dream is still a dream. I constantly find myself pleading with God. Constantly whining, wanting something better than what I have now. At times, I might even question myself. Why isn't God answering?

Yea. I know that God has his own timing and that God will give you the BEST that he could give you. But still, I doubt. I question. I wonder. I'm guilty of doubts. I'm always doubtful, which leads to my indecisiveness.

But still, as time passes, I still hold on to the promise that He gave me. In Matthew 7:9-11, it says:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give ood gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Not only this verse gives me hope. In Matthew 6:26, it says:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

These two verses give me the strength to continue to seek Him in every single thing.

As exams approaches and the last of assignments are meant to be handed in, stress levels are rising. But yet, I believe, everything will turn out in my favor. Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is Him.

2010-10-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

Oh man. This song. Brings back a lot of memories. The lyrics, in Mandarin are as below.

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续
一定会继续

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重
握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走
要记得

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续

我知道你寂寞
一个人确实好难过
思念是一种痛
没有你叫我怎么活
身边充满诱惑
不坚定就容易犯错
你是否能看见未来的收获
你愿意再耐心等候

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃国为有一天缘份会继续
让我们一起演完

Listening to this songs, brings back my high school memories with my friends. I miss them a lot. I miss the times when we used to stay in the canteen to eat and chat. Sigh. Those were fun filled times. On my 18th birthday, they made me the best birthday gift ever. A scrap book filled with pictures and comments. Those comments reminds me of how I was during high school.

I wasn't the best person in high school. I swore a lot, talked a lot, laughed a lot. As bad as it might seem, but that was me. I have no idea where my old self has gone now. It seems like it has just disappeared. I miss those carefree days. Well, not really carefree. I still stressed and worried about school work. But I was with supportive friends. They are friends where I can tell them my secrets and be confident that they won't tell them out. Up till date, I think they were the only people that I told my life's greatest secret to.

They are really the angels in disguise that are around me. Gosh. I miss them loads. Life goes on. That is what everyone says. I understand that. But I can't help but think of the past. I know it's not good. But the past is what keeps me going. I miss them. They help me make me into what I am today. They were the best gift high school could ever give to me.

This post is dedicated to Zhi Heng, Jie Ying, Bi Yun, Li Ning, Jun Jie and Jun Wen.

Week Long (Or Should I say Short?) Holidays

2010-10-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

Wow. In a blink of an eye, the holidays have ended. While I haven't really done a lot of things during this period of time, a lot of things happened. Let me start with a sad one.

Bryan, a friend of mine from High School, whom I knew since Form 1, passed away. I was very shocked when I learnt of the news. This is very sudden. Apparently he was cycling in US and he got hit by a trailier. And that trailer just went away. Just like that. After knowing about this, I realised that life, is short. Very short. This is the age where we all think we are capable of doing everything under the sun. Only the sky is our limit. But yet, we forget that death is cruel and quick.

Although I'm not that close to Bryan, and kinda lost touch after we left high school, I was still quite devastated by this news. This is the first time that I had a friend that kinda grew up with me (I have knew him since Form 1, and we were in the same class again in Form 5) has just passed away so sudden. It's a lost that I'm sure many will mourn.

On a lighter, yet pissed mode, I hereby announce that I'm going to be a loner, and find joy in being a loner. I'm going to change. I'm going to start to just care about myself and not for other people. Anymore. Period. Lately, a lot of things had happened that made me decide to do this. If I were going to continue to think like last time, I think I would not survive it and become insane. I'm making a change. Period.

Time just flies

2010-09-26T22:21:00.003+08:00

I was just looking through my facebook pictures, and I started to think to myself. Wow. I have came a long way since. It has been a while since I've felt this nostalgic. I'm going to finish my second year in UWA soon. Which signifies my 2nd year in Perth, a land far away from home.

However, somehow, it doesn't feel like I have been away for that long. But with a more in depth of memory searching, I feel old. A lot of things has happened in such a short span of time. There was laughter, tears, sweat and blood. A lot of new friends were made and new lessons being learnt. I feel that I have matured a lot since I came here.

I don't think I can learn all of these back home in Malaysia. It seems so surreal that I stepped out of my comfort zone in Malaysia and came into a world which I never knew I would ever step into. Yea. Since young I have heard of the country Australia. And it ends there. I don't know the geography of Australia, I don't know the history of Australia. Heck! I don't even know the capital of Australia. The only thing I knew was that Kangaroos originated from Australia. And it ends there.

I never thought that I would one day be studying here in Australia. I'm thankful that I am able to be here. It is indeed a blessing to be able to be here. However, at times, I still do question my presence here in Perth. What is the reason that I am placed here? What is my role here? These questions, I still cannot answer.

I have another 2 more years here. Then it's me into the work force. Gosh! I would feel so lost then. I hate crossroads. It's so hard to decide which turning to take.

Of holidays, assignments and lab reports

2010-09-25T12:14:00.002+08:00

My study break IS HERE! But it's gonna be crammed with studies, assignments and lab reports. Sigh. Study break my foot. I can just hope that I'm not procrastinating, just like now. LOL

Anyway, school timetable is out. I have a pretty shit timetable. 9th, 10th, 13th and 19th. It's just the first two that worries me. Oh well. I CAN DO IT!

OH YEA! SPRING IS HERE FINALLY! SO LONG COLD COLD DAYS! HELLO WARM SUN! I just love spring/summer. It's one of the best weathers ever. And the fact that the long holidays just add on to its appeal. Oh summery days! How I yearn for thou!

I should get going. Gonna go shower and go for a BARBIE! WOOHOO! THE FIRST FEW SIGNS THAT SPRING IS INDEED HERE!!!

Of wine and finger food

2010-09-17T09:30:00.003+08:00

Nearly every single night now, there are convocations to attend. You can see the joy of people graduating from University, getting away from the stressful study environment and stepping into the cold cruel world of the working class life. Kinda saddening. Haha. But anyway, during that night, there are wine and finger food all around! A freeloader like me, will always grasp the chance to go nibble on some food or grab a glass of wine or two.

Looking at them, kinda makes me think what would my feeling be in about 2 more years time. Now, when I think of graduating, I feel kind of insecure and scared. Graduating is a huge thing in everyone's life. Once you graduate, you're gonna get a life that you're gonna be stuck with for the rest of your time on earth. One wrong move and it might be KABLOOOOOOOOOEY!

I'm a person who doesn't really like to step out of his comfort zone and into a weird environment. I'm scared of changes. I feel insecure when I don't know what is in store for me. I think when I graduate, I would feel very very lost. That time, I would be at crossroads with more junctions than I can imagine. Would I take the road less traveled or would I follow the norm of the world?

On a more present note, my parents are here! Well, technically were here. My dad flew back last night. My mom is still here. I want my own space back T____T My mom is nagging me day and night. Argh! So annoying! But on the plus side, I don't have to worry about food, laundry nor a dirty room =D

Give me a break

2010-09-07T02:01:00.002+08:00

WHERE IS MY FREAKING STUDY BREAK?! WHY DON'T I SEE ANY STUDY BREAK COMING ANYTIME SOON?! THE FREAKING SEMESTER IS GOING TO END SOON AND THERE IS NO BREAK! WHY WHY WHY WHY?!

On a lighter note, my parents are going to come soon. Gee Gee. What am I going to do? Should I bring them around? Should I risk them knowing what 'evil' stuff I do here =D

I'm so bored now. I should be asleep but I have sugar rush at the moment. Stupid frozen coke from Maccas. So tempting. Couldn't resist the lure of the frozen coke. Sigh... I hate cravings. Speaking of cravings, I don't mind a cup of bubble tea now =D

Yes. I'm rambling non stop now. I think I'm going crazy.

OH YA! Something happened in the science library today. It was so hilarious. Prita and I laughed our asses off. But I shan't tell what is it. It's too yucky to tell. Yucky, yet funny. Oh man. What a gesture. LOL

Thinking

2010-08-22T20:05:00.002+08:00

I've always thought that I have it hard in life. I have not a great voice, not a great mind, not a great body, not a great face. To sum it up, not a great person. I feel that I'm never going to succeed in life. I often feel that I'm a useless, pathetic prick, a good for nothing person who is on Earth to just waste the resources here.

Never once I thought to think how blessed I am actually. I have a family. I have close relatives. I have close friends. I have a roof over my head. I have food on the table. I have clothes to wear. I have both hands and legs. I have a voice. I can hear. I can smell. I can see. I can sense. Heck. I'm even overseas furthering my studies.

I'm very very blessed already. But yet I still complain and whine. Constantly. "I hate my life", "I'm emo", "I don't want to study", "I want that car", "I want that new handphone". I want this. I want that. I hate this. I hate that. Constant whining is always heard from my mouth. What a brat I am aye.

It's time for me to stop my whining. Pinch me if I whine. kthxbai

2 birthdays in a row

2010-08-15T20:49:00.002+08:00

It was quite a fun night. First, we went and surprise Jordan, and then we went to Prita's house to surprise her. It was a fun day =D

It was a very hectic day for me. Morning, I woke up at like 7 to start baking with Shiyeng and Sinyee for Prita's and Jordan's cupcakes. We baked till like 10.40am. It was quite fun baking those stuff. We forgot to put in chocolate chips for the banana cupcake, which resulted in us baking some chocolate chip cookies. We made some icing for the cupcakes and GOSH! IT WAS SO FREAKING SWEET! 500 grams worth of sugar in that icing. Sugar rush much?

Anyway, after baking, I wanted to go gym and subsequently university to study. But of course, waking up at 7am took a huge toll on me and thus, I went back to bed and slept. Haha.

I went to church at around 4 something. Left early to head off to work at around 6pm. Work was hell tiring. Sigh. Earning money is so hard, but I have to do it. Cuz I have been wasting a lot of money lately. Work was really really hard. Hope to get a better job and a better paid one too =D

Anyway, after leaving my work, Jon Lim came and picked me up. And we set of to Myaree utopia to get Jordan's cake first. We first went to Prita's house to finish the cupcakes along with Prita's cousin. Then we all went to Jordan's house to surprise him. He was shocked to see us as Sinyee lied to him saying that we were waiting for people first. After doing a quick bday song, we adjourned to Prita's place.

We hid in the dark, cracked some dirty jokes, like always while waiting for Prita to come back. The first thing when she came back was that she noticed our shoes. We hid our shoes in the hall but then we thought that because it was dark, she couldn't see. But.. Sigh. Oh well. She was still shocked to see us all there. She only could say 2 sentences, repetitively. It was 'Oh my gawd!' and 'What the hell!'. It was kinda awkward as no one knew what to say. haha

All in all, I hope they had a nice bday surprise!

A Mixed Feeling

2010-08-14T15:27:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I am experiencing now. It's a mixed feeling. It's not emoness, nor it's happiness. I don't know what brought on this feeling too. I don't understand this. What is happening to me? I really don't know. But 1 thing is for sure is that this is NOT emoness.

Anyway, I'm into my 3rd week of uni and oh boy. Assignments are starting to come in and I don't know how to do them. I'm so scared. My heart is not really prepared for this sem yet. I need to study, but yet where is the motivation?!

Also on a side note, I've been contemplating some stuff about my life. It's probably high time that I change some stuff. But I don't know. Sigh. I'm so indecisive. I'm really really really indecisive.

I think this sem is another 'special sem' for me. Every semester in UWA brings a new flavour into my life. And this semester is no different, at least up till now. This semester, I have to learn how to be patient while dealing with some people. This semester is also a semester whereby I want to meet more locals. I actually want to attend a church where is predominantly locals. I want to feel like I'm in Australia, and not in an Asian country. Sigh. But I'm like so lazy to change church. And scared too. I should not be scared of change, I know. But... SIGH

LOL. I think I have been complaining a lot here xD

To tilt the balance back, I'm going to attend an event that is at Hilton Hotel soon =D I hope I can socialize a lot there and know a lot of people! Can't wait for it. I can dress up too!!!!

Oh well. I should be getting ready for church now. It's going to be a long long long night. Tell you why in the next post.

2nd Week

2010-08-05T12:10:00.003+08:00

It's now the second week of uni. I'm feeling very bored. Very very very bored. I know I said that I would study every week. But the heck about it. I don't feel like studying yet. I'm so lazy and I'm a very good procrastinator. Assignments, thank God hasn't really piled up yet. I hope that there won't be many assignments.

Oh yea. On a bright side, I got a car. A 3k 2nd hand car. A white Holden Barina. I'll upload the photo of the car someday soon. Can't be bothered at the moment xD

What else should I blog about?

I got sick last week because after eating fish and chips (It's quite heaty), I drank in a dark chocolate dip (makes me even more heatier). Thus, I had a sore throat which escalated into a mild fever, then a mild flu. I'm getting better now though.

My life is pretty much not eventful at the moment. But then again, my life is never eventful. Should I open a can of worms into my life? Should I invite drama into my life? Would I be able to cope up with dramas in my life? I think not.

Anyhows, I've kinda succeed in not being emo for the past 2 weeks! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

First day of uni!

2010-07-26T19:31:00.002+08:00

It's the start of a new semester! A new semester brings in a new shocking news =D
The day went on quite slowly actually. Nothing interesting happened. But this new semester, I have quite a few new resolutions. I plan to go to class EVERYDAY for the WHOLE SEMESTER, study EVERY SATURDAY FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER.
I wonder if I would keep up my resolutions or not.

Oh ya. I joined the gym starting this semester. I plan to buff myself up before I go back to Malaysia again. I've been growing fatter and fatter. It's time for me to tone up my body. Since I left high school, I have been saying that I want to enroll myself in a gym but never really got around to do it. BUT NOW IT IS DONE! I want to have a fit, toned nice body.

Wish me luck =D

With this new semester, I pray for a good good good good semester =D

Sigh....

2010-07-20T09:30:00.002+08:00

Holidays passes so fast! Soon, I'm going back to the place where I dread. It's not that I really hate Perth, but it's just too boring and new restrictions arose there. I want a car! But the financial status of my family actually don't really allow me. Sigh.

Yesterday I went out with some of my high school friends. We were chatting. I found out that I'm actually quite out of touch with most of them. There were a lot of things that happened in their lives that I didn't know. It's quite sad that I didn't really made the effort to just probably call them from Australia. Note to self: Take notice of people's life more. But anyway, I had a lot of fun just crapping with them and trying to make fun of each other, just like old times.

I learnt a lesson. No matter how much things has changed, some things that is the core to the friendship will never ever change. I'm quite glad that some things never change, thus I have something to cling on when I'm scared or worried.

I'm going back to Perth this Friday! To be happy or sad, I will choose neither. I hope by then my happiness scale would be fully replenished so that I could slowly use up the stored happiness there xD

I'm going home

2010-07-14T02:34:00.001+08:00

it's 2.34am now and I'm still awake. Why? WHY?!! BECAUSE I'M GOING HOME TO MALAYSIA SOON! OMG! I'M JUST SO FREAKING EXCITED! VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY EXCITED! My flight is at 6.50am. AND I'M GOING HOME!!

How low?

2010-07-06T22:55:00.002+08:00

How low would you stoop to just to survive? I was faced with quite a few scenarios today. It made me think. How low would you go just to live?

Scenario 1: McDonalds in the city.
There was this lady, whom I presume to be a homeless person. She came in McDonalds and ate the leftovers. This is pretty degrading I should think. Would I stoop to that level just to get food? I think I would rather have my dignity. This makes me feel so thankful that I have parents who support me through my life. Because of them, I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in regardless where ever I am at.

Scenario 2: Work.
I was kinda being pushed around at work. But still, I managed to maintain a smile. It makes me think of those people who work hard for a living. Many people I believe might be working in an environment where they hate it. They might need to do the jobs they hate just to get by. Well, this is just like a step better than the homeless lady that I met.

These 2 scenarios that I met with made me think quite a lot. Probably it's because I'm too bored. I don't know. But I wonder how low would I go just to be able to survive. How low would YOU go?

Why?

2010-07-05T10:06:00.002+08:00

Why can't I be in many places at once? If only there is a kind of potion that can strip myself into many instances of myself, that would be great. Then I would put 1 of me in Malaysia, 1 of me in Perth and 1 of me in US. This, is wishful thinking.

Everytime I see facebook, I see pictures or statuses of events that I couldn't attend because (a) I'm in another continent (b) I have other social obligations. I know that I shouldn't feel sad or something, but still there is this longing feeling in my heart to be together with friends all the while. It's not possible, but yet I can't help wishing for it.

The other day, I was chatting with Soon Khai through MSN. Oh gash. We had so many memories of our high school teachers and tuition teachers. It was quite fun trying to remember what happened in high school. There were so many fun and funny memories, and of course there were some bitter memories that I remembered but I didn't share. But with the existence of bitter memories, it is then we only know the existence of happy memories.

Now that I have kinda moved on to University, I have started to wish that I'm back in high school. I guess the past still has some bondages upon me. But I don't wanna do anything. I want to remember the fun times we all had during high school.

I miss my high school friends.

Kalbarri

2010-06-25T08:30:00.002+08:00

I'm back from a sorta relaxing trip back from the North. However, at this moment, I don't have any means of transferring my photos into my computer as I don't have the camera cable nor a CF card reader. Sigh... Oh well. Photos can wait, I guess.

So, the trip was quite a fun one. My car, driven by Aldrin, had so much fun. We kept talking some dirty topics in the car on the way to Kalbarri. Sad to say that I either started the topics or added oil onto fire for the topics. Well, you know me. Haha. And the best part was that we managed to hit 2 kangaroos. We killed 1 and the other 1 got away alive still. It was scary yet fun at the same time.

ATV was quite fun as I love to speed. Although the highest speed I could achieve was 70kmh, it was actually quite exhilarating. The wind blowing towards you, getting sand in your mouth (and eyes if I weren't wearing my sunnies), all in all it's a very fun and good experience.

I, too, went for horse riding. It's my first time on a horse. It was quite scary at first. Apparently my horse (its name is Patrick) is quite a rogue horse. But glad to say that it wasn't bad. I managed to control my horse, quite well too, I might add. When we went cantering (or in plain easy vocab, horse racing, in a way), it was fun! Your bum was seldom on the saddle and if you don't hold on to the reins well, you would fall off. Sad part is that Eunice fell off her horse. Hope she is all right.

If only deep sea fishing was cheaper, I would have went for deep sea fishing too. Deep sea fishing sounded like loads of fun, albeit the motion sickness some people, especially my housemate Wen Jun, experienced. Sigh. Why must it be AUD150. If only it is less than 100, I think I would have went. It would be a fun experience to be added on to my life here in Perth.

At night, we played games like Puerto Rico and Jungle Speed. I can't really play Puerto Rico as it is a strategy game and it's a game that seriously tests your patience as it is a very slow paced game. It's kinda like a double whammy for me as I'm not that good at strategy game because I'm not patient enough to think. Which is why I enjoyed Jungle Speed so much. It's a very fun game as it tests your reflexes. Oh gosh. This game gave me such a sore mouth as I kept laughing non stop. It's so hilarious to see people hesitate and not grab the totem in the middle.

The sceneries in Kalbarri, to tell you the truth, wasn't that at all impressive I guess. I'm not really a scenery kind of person. Some of it were amazing, but it grew boring after like 1 second. For me, I believe that if you seen it once, you've seen it all. But still, some of it are quiet nice, I don't deny it.

While I was doing my quiet time up there, I was actually quite troubled as I had to make a decision with my life. I don't think this is the suitable place to post my problem. However, all that I can say is that I'm waiting for a sign from him now. If I get that sign, I would have to proceed with the procedures. If the sign says no, I would have to throw out that mind set forever and ever and probably a day.

And so...

2010-06-19T23:16:00.003+08:00

the holidays commence. Sigh. There is no empty feeling nor is there an ecstatic feeling. I think I'm getting old. Long gone are the days where I anticipate the last day of exams because I'm going to play. But then again, I have nothing much to look forward here in Perth, hence this I guess.

But anyway, on the brightly lit side, sunny side up, I'm going on a roadtrip to a place called Kalbarri. Apparently it's 5 hours up north from Perth. I'm gonna be there for 5 days and 4 nights. I hope I have fun there. I borrowed a DSLR just to take pictures there. Hehe.

I just finished packing my luggage bag there. Sigh. I found out that I'm such a tech freak. I'm bringing 3 different chargers - Iphone/Ipod charger, PSP charger and my camera battery charger. If I were to bring my laptop there, I would be even a geekier geek. AND to top it off, I brought a comic book along to read too when I'm bored. Haha. Nerd + geek. What a great combination aye?

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

World Cup has STARTED!!!! For those who thinks that I don't watch football, you're wrong. I watch world cup. Haha. It's a once in a 4 year event, thus I have the heart to watch it (I know I know, translated straight from mandarin, but who cares). The world cup song is quite catchy. I quite like it xD

On a darker side, and a more emotional side, I don't know why but lately I have been having loads of mood swings. I don't know what triggers it but I know it's very very dangerous for me and for the people around me. I'm just a ticking bomb ready to, well, bomb. Haha.

Oh well. I guess it's back to packing my backpack! I'm gonna put foodddddddd into it =D

Hope I'll upload the pics here when I come back!

Just plain uh....

2010-06-16T22:18:00.001+08:00

This is going to be a very short post regarding what I heard =D

At Hungry Jacks...

Customer: Can I have some sauce?

Cashier: Yea. Sure. What sauce do you want?

Customer: I don't know.

and today at Dick Smiths...

Sales person: So do you want a laptop or a desktop?

Customer: I want a desktop that looks like a laptop.

OMG! HOW DUMB CAN YOU GET?!

No offence... =D

The last paper tomorrow

2010-06-14T23:06:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is my last paper. Yay. Hm... I don't feel any enthusiasm at all. Sigh. I don't know why, but I'm not feeling that ecstatic that tomorrow is my last paper and that after tomorrow, I would be free from finals for the time being. I remember last time I would be so happy that I would be literally jumping with joy.

It reminds me of my primary 6 UPSR. UPSR is a government paper that all primary 6 students have to sit for. I remember vividly that it was the night before my last paper. I was so happy that I could not sleep at all that night because after that paper, I would be heading off to the shopping mall with my friends to watch a movie. I was so happy.

Fast forward to high school. I remember after EVERY single big exams (mid sem and finals), my friends and I would happily shout for joy and walk together to the bus stop outside our school. We would take the bus and the train to Times Square or Sungai Wang or Mid Valley or KLCC. But no matter where we go, it's pretty much the same things that we do. Eat, go for karaoke or watch movie. But the hell with it. It was fun.

I remember if we went for karaoke, most of the rooms would be occupied by people from our school, and the chances are high that we know those people. We would literally go into every room and sing a few songs or something. And the best part? Most of us are in school uniform, unless the place that we go requires us to be in our casual clothings or which most of us bring it to school to change too. Haha.

And on to college. After every semester finals, it's off to FTZ (a cyber cafe opposite college) or it's off to Sunway Pyramid to watch movie or for a karaoke session again. Not much difference from high school. But the huge difference is that most of the people in college have cars. So, going to places is kinda like a breeze, apart from the stupid jams that we always encounter in KL or Selangor.

AND NOW.... In uni.... After my last exams, what plans do I have? Go back home and sleep... HOW LAME!

Sigh

2010-06-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

I'm having my second paper this Thursday. I have a lot of stuff to study and I believe I'm studying the least between my friends at the moment. But somehow, I just can't find the motivation to study now. It is just so depressing. I got such bad results for the mid semester exam and yet now I still don't want to buck up. Like seriously. What is wrong with me.

It's times like this that I miss the good old times where stuff just comes easily. It's so much easier to understand it last time. Probably it's because I had teachers and lecturers alike spoonfeeding me with information, unlike now, of which I have to study by myself. I know I probably should whine, but still, I can't help it.

I need to find my motivation, and fast.

On a lighter note, that day, while we were at the computer lab for mechanical students, Prita said something very funny yet disturbing. In Australia, there is a kind of energy drink called Mother. It is actually quite strong. But anyway, Jon Lim was drinking this. So, naturally, Prita asked Jon, "Hey Jon? Can I try your Mother?". That instant, I cracked up. Hillarious.

In times of exam

2010-06-06T17:43:00.003+08:00

Now is the exam season! ! Deck the halls with boughs of textbooks, fah la la la la la la la la. And like a normal student, I'm under quite a lot of stress during exams. Why? Because:

1. I skip classes

2. I never do assignments

3. I never have the motivation to study until 1 day before the exam.

Thus, you can see how gg-fied is my life aye. But thank God, I have a few places to draw strength from.

1. FACEBOOK! Yea. It's the best place to destress, and, of course, to waste time. Haha. I seriously don't know what I'm doing on facebook apart from playing Bejeweled Blitz everyday to kill time. Sigh. I should quit it hey.

2. Music. I love music. Although I sound like a toad with sore throat croaking when I sing, I still love to sing. Singing is my passion, albeit I'm not that good at it. Haha.

3. Iphone games. IPhone is one of the best (or is it the worst?) investment that I have ever made. It's so fun! There are just so many games that I got (illegally, I might add =D) on my phone that could keep me occupied for days!

4. Sleep. A few years back, I would think that sleeping is a waste of time. And I still do. But then again, my body doesn't agree with me. I tend to sleep a lot now. I blame the cold-ish weather here in Perth. It makes me want to hibernate.

5. Energy drinks and coffee! Where would I be if they don't exist? IN BED SLEEPING MY ARSE OFF! But then again, if I had too much caffeine, I would be too hyper and keep playing games instead of studying. Which is, another sad sad case. Reminds me of Form 5 SPM. I drank coffee to study sejarah. But in the end, I stayed up the whole night playing games. And the next morning, I drove to school and took the exam. Got a B in the end. Oh well.

6. Photos, personal gifts and memories. I draw a lot of strength from these. Looking back at my life, I had many high and low points, of which I have the privilege of sharing it with many different friends. I look back at photos, I remember the times where we had fun, the times where we, too, mugged for exams, the times where we ate together, the times where we were sad because of leavings, the times where we were glad because we still could see each other during gatherings. I miss those times. It was great.

7. God. I think before most of my exams, I pray to calm myself down. When I'm just too anxious, I would even take the bible up and flip it to random verses to read, to draw strength from. I feel so much at peace after that.

I think I should be getting back to my studies. Wish me luck people.

Pre-exam post

2010-06-04T20:41:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow is my first paper! at 2pm, I would be taking my first final paper of the year, Math 2040. Sigh. When did maths started to get this hard? I miss the days gone by where the only thing I needed to know about maths are addition and subtraction. I don't even wanna know multiplication nor division.

I just can't seem to find the motivation to study. Well, technically, I've studied most of the stuff. But yet, there is this nagging feeling in me that I've forgot something. Why why why why..

Probably I should take the finals by faith rather than by knowledge....

Oh well people. Wish me luck.

Wishlist

2010-06-03T11:05:00.002+08:00

Sigh. I don't know why, but I want to buy some of the following stuff! Anyone wants to give them to me?

1. DSLR
2. Netbook
3. Car

Sigh. My taste is getting more and more expensive. Oh no. I'm a big spender. I'm evolving!

Mission possible?

2010-05-30T16:14:00.003+08:00

Mission statement:
Exams are coming soon. First paper 5th June, Maths. Second paper 10th June, Civil. Third paper 15th June, thermodynamics.

Mission status:
Less than 5% for each subject.

Projected mission outcome (done by me):
Fail

Projected mission outcome (done by me and JESUS!):
ACCOMPLISH

Sigh. Exams coming. Materials not finished yet. Dear God. I pray that I know that you'll be next to me in thick and thin. Grant me wisdom and bless me with abundance of knowledge. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

IT'S THE LAST DAY OF MY 3RD SEM

2010-05-28T14:38:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of my third semester here in UWA!

Now, STUDY FOR FINALS!!!

The Road Not Taken

2010-05-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

~Robert Frost

The Horror...

2010-05-09T08:00:00.003+08:00

I'm an avid listener to Hitz.fm. Even when I'm here in Australia, I always listen to that radio station online.

Today, as always, I was happily going to the website. And look what greeted me.

It's Justin Bieber! NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm not a great fan of him. Sorry. Listening to a voice that hasn't hit puberty singing that belongs to a guy makes me feel like a gay pedophile.

Warman...

2010-05-06T19:21:00.002+08:00

So there is this unit that I'm currently taking, it's called the Warman Unit. It is a very #@&^*^& unit. Technically, everyone is divided into groups of 4. And each group has to come out with 2 devices. Device A shall transport rice in a container to a designated area and lift it up an elevation of about 40cm high. Then Device B shall go and collect the container.

I HATE NO FREAKING IDEA HOW TO DO IT

I fail as an engineer. It's because of this unit that I think I'm not cut out for this unit. It just keeps demoralizes me. Like seriously. I don't wanna take engineering anymore because of this UNIT! It makes me feel that I'm a dumb, good for nothing student. Which technically is right, I might add. Haha. But putting that point aside, I just feel stupid doing this unit!

I wanna fly to US to continue my studies. Maybe I should have done that in the first place ay. Perth is just too boringgggggg.....

ANYWAY

Prita and I made a paragraph of a song for Warman. It's not complete though. It goes along with the tune of 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Greenday. Take note. It's just the first paragraph.

I walk this lonely road,

the only one a Warman student walks

Don't know where it goes,

But its hell on earth and I walk alone.

We need to transfer rice,

From the bottom table to the top,

Countless sleepless nights,

room one five seven you are my home...

And it stops there. Haha. We don't know how to continue. We, too, have another unfinished song, going to the tune of 'If I Were a Boy' by Beyonce. This song we made is a bit gross though...

If I were 5 years old,

I would piss everywhere

Don't care what people think

Because I am 5 years old.

Leave a yellow trail,

so my parents could find me,

I might even leave a poop along,

just because I am 5 years old

Haha. It's hillarious xD

Part of my life, Primary School

2010-04-28T12:15:00.003+08:00

I was looking at Prita's latest post and I felt kinda nostalgic. I went to my facebook, and I saw that there were 1538 pictures of me! That is hell crazy. Haha. As I started to browse through the pictures, I was overwhelmed by many different emotions. So many memories were created everywhere.

One of the pictures was me when I was 7 years old. When I saw that, my memories immediately transported me back to primary school and those stupid things we did. I remember I was quite close to this group of girls which led to some jealousy matters. Some of the guys in the class hated me because I was close to the girl which apparently he took a liking in. It makes me wonder sometimes did we understand the meaning of love that time.

There was this incident in primary 6 which will always remain in my head. Some of my friends and I were quite interested in the series Charmed. Gosh. Were we so into the show. Charmed is a show which talks about the supernatural world, about witches, warlocks, demons and stuff. I still remember vividly we took an exercise book and wrapped a white paper around the cover, and called it our 'Book of Shadows', and wrote down all our 'spells'. We performed some of it in school, behind our tuition class. Sigh. The ignorance. I remember this particular spell 'Water water everywhere, evaporate in the air'. We did it over a puddle of water. After 1 hour, we went back and it has evaporated. We were amazed. I feel so stupid now. Because of course it will evaporate. Duh. The sun was scorching hot. Haha.

I remember there was this friend who had this dream. I think it was a bad dream etc etc. Then I think I started calling her Pure Evil. Don't ask me why. And some of my friends started calling Holy Man. Haha. Thinking back, it is actually quite hillarious. I've totally forgot about it until Brenda Chan MSN-ed me that day asking me why did they call me Holy Man last time. Haha. The wonders of little kids.

Ah. The ignorance of a little kid. I wonder what happened to the 'Book of Shadows'. We kinda grew out of it. Of course, it's against the teaching of Christianity, of which at that time I wasn't really aware of it, I think. It's quite fun to think back and reminiscent about it.

I still remember in Primary school, we started this 'library in class' thingie. Everyone brought these few books to class and were to leave it in class so that everyone could borrow. I remember so many of us lost our books, and probably some of us gained some extra books. It was kinda stupid xD

Oh ya. One of the highlights of my days in primary school was 'The Sixers'. We kinda published our own magazine. But, actually we were kinda infringing on some copyright issues as we took some parts of other magazines and published it. Haha. I don't really remember all the people doing it. I only remember Brenda, Lili and PCK. Speaking of PCK, I wonder how is he doing in Canada. I hope he is all right. But back to 'The Sixers'. We published like 4 issues of it. We sold it 10 cents per issue, I think. Haha. Heck cheap. We don't print that many issues though. So, it's quite cool =D. I still have all 4 issues back home in Malaysia.

Sigh. Those were the days in primary school!

This shall remain untitled

2010-04-23T10:17:00.003+08:00

In a blink of an eye, more than half a semester has passed. Wow. When did time pass that fast? How did I managed crawl through time while not noticing that it has overtook me by leaps and bounds? Sigh. It still eludes me how time chooses its own pace to pass.

Lately, I've gotten myself an Iphone =D. Bwahahahaha. It's quite an awesome phone. Quite nice to use. Currently not regretting getting it yet. But then, getting this Iphone has set me back quite a lot. Sigh. I vowed to use less money. But yet... WHY AM I A COMPULSIVE SPENDER??!!!

Anyway, I still have a few more weeks till my finals. I should start to get scared. But still, I skip many classes and tutorials. Sigh. Can I ever stop procrastinating? It's kinda sickening...

Nothing fun happens in my life. It's always the same old same old. Life has became such a routine for me that I can just go through it without opening my eyes. Hm... I miss the good old days. Why am I always reflecting back to the old days? Those are days gone by and I should stop thinking about it already!

Oh. Something I just remembered happening in class one day. We were in drawing class where we were supposed to draw the Vitruvian man. Those who doesn't know, it is

Anyway, we were given a handout showing this guy. After turning the page to this picture, Joseph Ning started to nosebleed. Adrian and I were saying that Joseph was feeling high after seeing the painting of a naked man. Talk about coincidence. Haha.

At the moment, my life seems dull xD

Till then!

Wow

2010-04-03T09:07:00.003+08:00

It's already mid semester. How did time manage to pass me by so quickly?! In just a few blinks of my eye, 6 weeks has passed by since uni started! And I'm now actually quite behind my studies =D

Darn. I have only 1 week of holidays and a lot of stuff to do. I hope I won't procrastinate and not do all my stuff xD Here is the small list of stuff to do.

1. Lab report

2. Catch up with Thermo

3. Catch up with Civil

4. Arts in Engineering assignment

5. Drawing assignment

6. Warman project

7. Catch up with Maths

8. Clean up my room

OH CRAP! JUST REMEMBERED MY CIVIL ASSIGNMENT DUE TOMORROW!

GOT TO GO!

Different Worlds

2010-03-19T18:03:00.002+08:00

I have came up to a deduction. My housemates and I come from a different world. In this household, there are 3 person. And I live in a different world from the two other housemates. Our lifestyles are pretty much different. Which leads me to this question. Did I make the right decision to move in with them for the next 3 years of my life? At the moment, I think I might have made a drastically wrong decision, a wrong decision of which I must suffer the consequences for the next 3 years of my life.

So yea. I pretty much think that I have made the wrong decision to have move in with them. But I reckon it's quite late to move out from this decision. Pun! Notice the pun!!! =D

So now comes the next 'BIG' question. How do I right this wrong?

Honestly, I don't know.

Some people might just tell me to 'MAN UP AND DEAL WITH IT! THIS IS LIFE!'. Well, I'm not saying they are wrong. But I think this is a decision that will affect quite many areas of my life. To some people, it might seem petty. But to me, it has quite a huge impact on my little life. I can choose to just walk out from this problem. But that is the easy way. It's not too good to do that I guess.

I can only blame myself at the moment. Why did I make the stupid decision. At that time, it seem so good. I wasn't aware of any repercussions that came with me moving in with them. I thought that because I was taking the same discipline with them so it'll be easier for me. BOY OH BOY was I ever wrong.

It just made me felt even more ostracized.

Probably I'm not used to being like this. I don't know and at this rate I'm going, I think I might go bonkers before I know what am I thinking. Sigh...

Why does this happen to me?

Save me please?

It's week 3...

2010-03-08T10:49:00.002+08:00

And I'm already way behind my studies. LOL. I can only blame myself. I kept snoozing my stupid alarm thus I skipped quite many classes. Sigh. Where did my resolution to not to skip class go to? It's buried deep in the abyss already. Haha.

Anyway, I'm so reluctant to work. But then, I have to work for extra money. Why can't I have an infinite source of money? If only I have an infinite source of money, I WOULD BE RICH! Duh. LOL. I would seriously go on a splurging frenzy buying everything that catches my eyes. That, would be nice.

The weather here in Perth is getting cooler now as compared to the first few days I was back in Perth. I hope autumn will come slightly sooner. I'm a person who likes the weather to be not too hot and not too cold. Thus, the weather during the start of autumn is always the best. Spring is not too bad too, if not for the hayfever that I get.

I guess I should be back to my studies now xD

ARGH

2010-02-23T10:57:00.002+08:00

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH!

This semester is BAD! Why? BECAUSE I HAVE THIS STUPID UNIT THAT REQUIRES ME TO DRAW! For those who know me quite well, they would know that I can draw nothing. I can't even draw straight lines or even nice circles. The only thing I can draw is squiggly little lines. THIS IS BAD! Drawing consist about 50% of this unit! Can someone come and kill me like now?

Oh ya. I might be starting to work soon =D It's 10 dollars per hour. Not much, but still some side income. And I've joined the church choir again. Gonna perform in 2 weeks time at 'Freshies Welcome' at church. Whee. Being in choir is actually quite fun. Life shall be hectic this year!

Back in Perth

2010-02-19T07:39:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back at the dreaded place again. I used to feel that Perth is a bad place. However, a year later, added along with a bunch of friends, it's actually not really a bad place. I guess places are only boring when you don't have friends to enjoy with. Of course, that is only what I think. Some people find joy in being loners. Being a loner is not what I like.

Sigh. All things aside, University classes is going to start soon. 3 more days! On Monday, I have class from 8 till 5. It's something like working hours already. But thank God, I have 3 hours break, I think. This year's timetable isn't that good. I don't really like it. I'm only taking 4 subjects and the contact hours (or credit hours) are A TRUCK LOAD!

However, I look forward to going back to classes and jump start my brain again. My brain hasn't been working much for about 3 months now. Even that day when April asked me a calculus question, it took me 5 minutes for me to actually think about the question. I've become a SLOWPOKE! =D

Not sure what else to update. Will update after uni starts again =D

Changes

2010-02-10T01:29:00.003+08:00

Changes. It's everywhere. The sun rises in the morning, sets at night and the moon comes up in place of the sun. Changes. Changes are all around you. It still happens whether you like it or not. The world wouldn't come to a complete halt if something bad happens to you, nor will a place stop changing whilst you're not at that place.

I went to Inti Subang Jaya at SS15 today. Gosh. It was some trip down memory lane. I still remember about 2 years ago I just started out college. I wake up at about 6 something in the morning, get out of the house by 6.30am just to beat the jam and reach college at 7am. Sit at the concourse while waiting for the rest of the gang to reach. I miss those days.

A lot of changes can be seen within this 2 short years. People that I once know studying in Inti has gone away. There was just a few familiar faces there. New shops around SS15 pop-ed out in my absence from Inti for a year. Sigh. Thinking of this gives me a twinge of sadness. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. Emo~~~

I guess all good things must come to an end. The world is an endless vicious cycle and I'm currently caught in the cyclone. When a door closes, another opens. Changes are sometimes for the better, but at times, it is also for the worse.

I often wish I can turn back time to relive the happiest moments of my life. The happiest moments of life are quite fleeting. But I guess life must have a balance of happy moments and sad moments. A dynamic life is what makes a person, well, a person.

I tell people to stop looking into the past. I'm not a person who takes my own advice. Haha. I find myself looking into the past, many a times trying to relive it, but yet I know it's impossible, which makes me go down to an even worse mood. When would I take my own advice?

I seriously need to pull myself together. It's a new year and I plan to excel in this year's studies. God help me. I pray.

Last day in Singapore

2010-02-03T16:03:00.002+08:00

I can't believe this. After all this while, I'm finally heading home. Home, as in Malaysia home. Who cares about my Perth home at the moment? I'm actually having some mixed feelings. I've been here in Singapore for like 2 months or so. A lot of memories were created here. New experiences, new friends, new everything were forged here. I actually had a wonderful time here in Singapore.

I'm lucky I went to Zion. If I didn't join Zion, I wouldn't have known many Singaporeans. God really works in wonderful ways. It's just so amazing how God's plan falls into place after like a year or so. I guess God is really working in my life, albeit me not seeing it in the smaller picture.

I'm now at Changi airport waiting for a friend to have my 'last meal' here in Singapore. I actually am thinking of coming back to Singapore for holidays this year end. Or probably another internship here in Singapore. I can't believe I'm going to miss this place.

There are so many people that I want to thank for my wonderful experience here in Singapore. Without those people, my Singapore experience wouldn't be the same. Haha. Too lazy to name some names here but i think you would know who you are.

All good things must come to an end anyway. Me leaving Singapore ends a small chapter in my life. Quite a good chapter of my life actually. I wouldn't really mind going over this part again.

Nostalgic feelings washed over me while I was taking the MRT towards Changi Airport. MRT was my best friend, in terms of transport of course. As I was passing by the stations, i can't help but remembering what happened in each station. It's all still fresh in my mind.

Anyways, I'm getting off blogger now. Haha. Gonna go grab some food while waiting for my friend. Till then. My next post would be from HOME.

START OF MY HOLIDAYS!

2010-01-30T10:38:00.001+08:00

I could finally start to enjoy my holidays prior to my recommencement at UWA. Haha. Woohoo!

Not much time to type a post, BECAUSE I WANNA ENJOY!

Reasons to drink alcohol on a daily basis

2010-01-27T09:56:00.002+08:00

Monday: Monday blues. Drink to forget.
Tuesday: Residues of monday blues. Drink to clear everything off.
Wesnesday: Mid of weekday. Drink to celebrate as you managed to survive till the mid.
Thursday: The starting of the downhill week. Drink to get ready yourself.
Friday: The last day of weekend. Drink to celebrate the coming of the weekends.
Saturday: The first day of the weekend! Who doesn't party on this day?
Sunday: The last day of the weenend. Drink, as Monday blues is about to come.

What do you think? Valid reasons to drink all day aye?
Sigh. I need some drinks now. Someone spare me some?

5 more days...

2010-01-24T22:24:00.002+08:00

and I'LL BE FREE FROM WORK! LIBERATION! EMANCIPATION! Can you smell freedom? It's slowly drifting towards me! How awesome! To add on to the wonders of quitting, I get my pay check on that same day too =D

But please please please don't let me spend too much money. Sigh. I have very bad money management skills. I'm like so dead.....

I'll be counting down the days! Count with me? xD

9 more days...

2010-01-20T19:34:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah baybeh! 9 more days till my last day of work. Gosh. I can't wait for it. I should have the awesome-est feeling that day. That glorious day awaits me while I salivate my way there.... SLOWLY

Anyway, being here in Singapore is actually quite awesome as I have so many awesome friends here. If it weren't for them, I guess my Singapore experience would be really shitty =D

I'll post more on my feelings about my 2 month stint in Singapore when I'm close to leaving. As of today, I still have 2 more weeks till I go back and see my beloved doggie =D

ANDDDDD

I'm going to get my pay check in 9 days time. Btw, sorry for jumping here and there. My thoughts aren't collected tonight.

What am I going to do with my money, you ask? Well....

1. Get a guitar. I want to compose my own songs again =D

2. Get a watch. I want a watch that has altitude etc etc. It looks awesome.

3. Get a handphone. I want a touch screen phone =D

4. Get more clothes. I've always loved clothes shopping.

That is probably my little list. But then again, this will eat all of my pay already xD

A first post as a 20 year old guy

2010-01-16T09:41:00.002+08:00

This is my first post as a 20 year old guy. Gosh. No more 1*. Probably as Carlos said, "Two... is better than one" =D

My birthday this year was a very new and unexpected experience. But one thing for sure. If I never went to Perth, I wouldn't have this new kind of birthday celebration. It's always times like this when I'm in awe of His plans. Everything just fits in perfectly. It's like wow. His plans are always flawless. I'm so amazed by these. I guess I'm learning new things everyday.

I celebrated my birthday with all Singaporeans from Zion, and 2 from CHC. They gave me 8 tasks to do. Super embarrassing I tell you. I don't remember the sequence of the tasks, but here are some that are very embarrassing.

1. Go up to 3 strangers and get them to sign on my arm

2. Go up to a stranger and tell them a joke. They have to laugh out loud.

3. Go up to 5 male strangers and ask them for the color of their underwear.

These 3 were the bad ones. However, I'm proud to say that I managed to do it all. I'm quite sporting aye. But I noticed something bad about it. When I'm scared, I can't construct proper English sentence. All my words lump together and even I don't understand it myself. Gosh. I've gotta brush up on my public speaking skills.

Anyway, in this 20th year on Earth, I plan to do quite a lot of things. It's probably time for me to leave an impact on the world. But how do i impact the world? Probably by starting small. Even the smallest thing matters. This is my vision for my 20th year on Earth. Change something in the world.

3 more torturous weeks!

2010-01-10T14:08:00.002+08:00

I have 3 more weeks at work! Sigh. I hope time at work would pass faster. I really really really don't wanna work anymore. I just wanna take a rest. I just feel like quitting it this instant, however I do feel bad. It is because I promised the HR person that I would be working till the end of January. I'll have to keep my promise. Sigh...

ANYWAYS...

I'm going to be 20 in 3 days time! Gosh! I'm getting old!!! Can't believe that I have been on this Earth for so many years already! It's actually amazing how time flies when you're having fun. It seems like it was just yesterday that I celebrated my 18th birthday. I wonder what is in store for me this birthday?

This birthday of mine would be somewhat different from my previous birthdays. It would be my first birthday that I celebrate in Singapore, and with all new friends. Hm... Should be a great experience, no?

It's 2010

2010-01-05T19:54:00.002+08:00

It's 2010 already! Only about 8 more days till I hit the benchmark age, the big, but not that big 2 0. Sigh. No more 1*. I'm getting older and what am I still doing? Still not leaving my mark on the world. Oh well. I still have time to do that, I guess.

Since my birthday is still some time away, I shall not blog much about it yet. I'll blog, instead, about my long delayed New Year Resolutions!

My 2010 New Year Resolution List

1. Study better and get better results!

2. To grow stronger in my faith.

3. To get to know more people, widening my network.

4. Get into a better body shape =D

5. Get a job in Perth.

6. Know my life direction.

7. Be less emo.

I think I shouldn't add more stuff to my list. Just in case I can't fulfill anything. xD

Last day of the year

2009-12-31T07:20:00.002+08:00

The day is here. It's the last day of the year 2009!!! Wow. This day came quite fast eh. In the blink of an eye, 2009 is going to pass and it's time to usher in the year 2010!

2009 has been a year of great changes. Many things has happened in year 2009. I thank God for this wonderful year and commit year 2010 to God for more wonderful things that is to come!

Sorry for this short post as I have to go to work soon. Ciao!

Tak Nak

2009-12-21T22:16:00.002+08:00

I'm currently on a campaign somewhat similar to Malaysia's old campaign, the TAK NAK campaign. For those who doesn't know what is TAK NAK, TAK NAK means 'NO! Don't WANT!'

So, what am I saying TAK NAK to?

1. Cigarettes

2. Work

3. Emo thoughts

4. Suicidal thoughts

Sigh. Why am I even posting this. I know it's hard for me to say no to these things. Gosh. I so seriously wanna go home. Why am I so emo? I think if it weren't for friends, I would have committed suicide.

Why wouldn't my parents want me to go home? Why would they send me away? Sigh. Am I really that bad? I seriously don't know anything at all at this moment

Same old, same old

2009-12-19T11:23:00.002+08:00

Well, I have been working for 5 days. After working for these few days, I have came up to a very very important revelation...

I DO NOT WANT TO BE A CIVIL ENGINEER

I want to work in a white collar job. I'm not saying that blue collar jobs are bad. No. We still need them for our economy. But that is not the job that I would want. At this stage of life, I'm doubting even my choice of taking Mechanical Engineering. Is engineering what I really want? Do I want to work in factories? What do I really want?

Soon, it'll be the end of 2009. You know what that means. Yup. Nostalgic flashbacks to the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and months passed by in year 2009.

I guess I'll just start ranting a bit about my thoughts on year 2009.

Well, 2009 has been a year FULL of changes. It's a year that I learnt a lot of things of the society. My eyes have been constantly opened to both the good side and the bad side of the society. I've gotten to know loads of people all around the world. I have traveled on so many planes this year too. And learnt that AirAsia is better than TigerAirways, in my opinion.

2009 marks a year where I enter University in a foreign land which I don't really know the history nor the geography of the land, let alone set foot before on that particular foreign land, AKA Australia.

2009 marks a year where I have been faced with a lot of challenges and have fell down a lot of times. Most of the times, I have just fell and sat there crying (Well, literally). I probably would have just sat there for the rest of my life if I don't have friends. I thank God for friends and for my Church in Perth. If I don't have the support of friends, I think I won't be here writing this post today.

I'm, by nature, a very emo person. I never knew I could get how emo until I went to Perth, and consequently came to Singapore for a temporary job. I guess 2009 is a year full of strong emotions. It opened my emotions bank and I don't think it would close anytime soon yet.

2009, too, marks a year whereby I've became more independent. And learnt that my parents are very protective of me. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm their only child. But I think I've let them down. There is something that they still don't know, and most of my friends don't know although the fact is straight right in front of face. And this thing that they don't know will hurt them a lot. I'm not sure when I would tell them. But I'll save this for another time. Back to the topic of being independent. I learnt to cook, I learnt to do my own laundry, I learnt to tidy up my room, I learnt to fix up furnitures. That is quite a feat for me I guess xD

Oh well. I have to go out now. To be continued...

Time for another pissy post

2009-12-15T17:59:00.002+08:00

Yes. Just then I was opening my facebook. I was feeling slightly emo already since I dislike this job. Then I was greeted with so many notifications. I was slightly ecstatic. But however, it was short lived. I became pissy after that. Why? It's because I'm here in Singapore and I'm missing out on friends' birthday and friends' farewells. Please do NOTICE the plural form I used. Singular, I probably can take it. But plural? GAH! GO FISH!

To top it off, friends in Singapore are going out for lunch together. And guess what? I can't go because I have work. Wth! Work is interfering with my social life. I hate doing things that interfere with my social life. Zzzzz

I think next year, I won't come back to Malaysia. I'll just stay back in Perth and rest there. No parents there. A room of my own, and possibly a whole house to myself. What more do I need? Oh yeah. Money xD

I dunno why but I miss swearing and cursing a lot. I know it's uncouth and rude, but it was who I am. I really really want to swear out loud and like always. But why have I stopped? It's because I've grown up...

Pierced Ears

2009-12-13T22:06:00.002+08:00

Today, I pierced my left ear. There wasn't really much pain there. Haha. Minimal pain, I might add. Told my parents, they didn't really scold me. Sigh. I guess they think that I can think for myself already... Plan rebellion failed. LOL

Now, I should start worrying about the pus and/or blood that is to come. I have to look after it properly. Sigh. A bit troublesome, but still, I hope it's worth it. xD

Went to church today. The church is an adopted church by Acts Church in KL. Saw Pastor Sandra at first. I didn't know who she was. Then she was introduced as Pastor Sandra, then I only remembered that I really saw her before in INTI college CF before. I guess this is indeed a small small world.

Last Friday, I went to cell in Eunice's house. Quite fun and quite a huge turnout. 15 people! That is like so many! Got to know new people. Not bad la xD Looking forward to the next cell meeting.

So, I'll be starting my work tomorrow. Wish me luck yea!!!

Broken Promises

2009-12-11T11:08:00.002+08:00

I've broken many promises. And lately I broke another promise to myself, not being emo. However, once I stepped out of the house, my spirit is being lifted up. I guess I'm not a person who can stay at home. I need to get out of the house more often. Right now, I'm in Starbucks in Singapore. Nothing much to do actually.

I'm supposed to go to Orchard road to walk about now, but then I feel a bit lazy. Hehe.

I want to get a ear piercing today. But then, I'm starting to chicken out. Hm.... Should I pierce it or not? I'm scared of the pain!!! I'm in a dilemma now, but it's a self inflicted dilemma.

Why do I want to get a piercing? It's because I want to rebel. My parents don't want me to get a piercing. But, I came to Singapore to this job to please them. Yet, they don't know. Thus, I decided to rebel. There are quite a few choices for rebellion. Let me list them down.

1. Taking drugs. Good for rebelling, bad for health and a whole bunch of bad consequences. So I don't think I'll be taking drugs anytime.

2. Smoke. Again, good for rebelling as my parents detest smoking. But then, it's gonna be so bad for my health. Nix to this idea again.

3. Drink all day and all night. Not a bad idea. But then, I'll be moneyless by probably less than a week later. So, no to this idea again.

4. Piercing! This is by far the best I can get. Piercing is pain, but I hope not that pain. My parents abhor piercing, which makes it even better. And it's quite cheap and it's a one time thing. So, BINGO!

@ Singapore

2009-12-10T16:23:00.002+08:00

So I'm now in Singapore again... Not for holidays but for work. Sigh. I hate this. Why the hell do I need to get this stupid so called job on my first year of university? I seriously don't want to do this at all. I'm doing this just to please my parents. I'm actually sick of pleasing people already. I shouldn't do this against my will. Sigh...

Oh well. I think next year, I won't come back to Malaysia anymore. I don't want to work. I just want to rest during the holidays. See now. I can't even rest well in my own crib. I have to stay with my uncle until probably a few days before Chinese New Year. At least in Perth, I have my own room to stay in. Full privacy yo.

People are saying that this chance is hard to get. Pardon my language here, but seriously, FUCK IT! I don't want this chance now. It's too early. I fucking just want to rest and relax and not working my ass off some fucking job which has no relevance to my future degree at all. Screw it. The more I think about it, the more I get pissed.

This would be the first time in my whole entire life whereby I don't celebrate Christmas, New Year and my BIRTHDAY with friends. This is pissing me off. I've always loved birthdays and was actually not really looking forward to my next birthday as most of my friends aren't here. And now, I'm not even in Malaysia. Talk about double pissed.. This would be one of my worst experience ever in my life....

I still can't get over how angry I am now. But suicide is not an option, yet I guess. But if I really cannot stand it..... I will....

NOT

suicide still =p

Kinda glad that even though I'm pissed, I still can smile for a while.

150th Post

2009-12-07T16:53:00.003+08:00

This is my 150th post on my blog =D

Putting that information aside, I got a reply from Singapore. I can start working now already. The work permit has already been approved. And I'll probably be starting by this Friday. Sigh. It's so fast. I haven't hang out with most of my friends here in Malaysia. I feel kinda sad actually. Sigh. Oh well. I need the money. Have to work.

So, I'm now cramming most of my gatherings together now. Not much time left aye.

Results Smesults

2009-12-05T12:09:00.003+08:00

In the hype of holidays, the most dreaded thing of all students has arrived. Yup. Results. Our results was released slightly earlier, bringing doom and destruction to the student's spirit. You should see the amount of destruction exam results can bring. It's so amazing yet terrifying at the same time.

It is always after getting my results that I feel like going back to my bed, take my comforter and cover my entire body and contemplate to stay there for probably 20 years of my life. Or until I feel like drinking alcohol. Which ever comes first.

Not saying my results are really really really bad, but to my standards, they are pretty crappy. I have high expectations on myself. But lately, I have been letting myself down. Sigh. Where is my motivation to study harder? Where is my studious spirit? Where is my smartness? Brain! Why have you forsaken me???

I'm not sure how many times have I repeated this. I'll repeat it again. I vow to study hard for next semester subjects. Oh God. I pray that I will be able to keep this vow this time. But then again, will I have the willpower to strife on? My spirit nearly died last semester. I had really really low morale, probably one of the all time lowest morale I ever had for my entire life up till now.

Well putting results aside, I have my work to worry about. I'm still not sure whether I'll be getting that work permit or not. My application, as of now, is still pending approval. I choose to say approval and not rejection. Hehe. I have to be optimistic aye. I think if it is being approved, I will just go take it. I'll be needing the money. I have not much choice actually. Judging by my bad results, I would need so me real work to take my mind of it.

And on another even lighter note, I got a new external hard drive (my 3rd one) and a new laptop (my 2nd one). This external hard drive is so awesome. It's 1TB! It's so HUGE! Can't wait to store most of my stuff into this good old thing. As for the laptop, it's another Acer laptop. It's running on Windows 7! This operating system looks so awesome! But I still need to figure out a lot of stuff. Still trying to get used to that new operating system.

So, I'm now trying to look out in a more positive way of thinking. I hope everything goes well for me next year. Gotta go tinker with my new lappie! Till then~

Home is where the heart is

2009-12-02T16:28:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back in hot and humid and now rainy Kuala Lumpur, the place where I kinda belong to. It feels kinda good to be home. At first it seems foreign, but then I settled in back to my old routine life quite quickly.

Basically now, my life revolves around going out and in front of my computer. I have nothing better to do. Kinda lazy to do some reading too. Hm... When did I start to be this lazy. Probably I've always been this lazy. Haha...

Money is running out. My application for the work permit in Singapore has been submitted. I'll have to wait probably for a week or two to see whether is it gonna be approved or not. There are pros and cons to both scenarios. If I get it, I would be getting income but then I won't be able to hang out with friends and I am going to be emo and very lonely. On the other hand, if I didn't get it, I would probably be happier and not kill myself in the end. If you don't see me next year, I would have probably died of loneliness (or probably suicide).

Now currently I'm practicing Clare de Lune on the piano. Gosh! It's so freaking hard. Actually it's not that hard, but my sight reading sucks like hell. However on the bright side, I managed to get the tune. Haha. Gotta practice harder yo.

And by the way, my house is now wireless. I mean the internet. I managed to install the wireless modem. So now, I'm online in my room! I have never been online in my room before. It's so fun. Haha.

Anyway, I'm going to die of boredom soon. People! Call me out!

Aloha from Singapore

2009-11-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

Greetings! I'm now in Singapore lazing around. This is my last night in Singapore though. Haha. I'll be heading back to Malaysia tomorrow night. Nothing much to do here.

Lazy to type. Cheers =D

Last day

2009-11-27T06:57:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day I'm here in Perth for the year. Gosh. I can still remember vividly the last day I was in Malaysia before I came to Perth. I still remember what I said, and yet I didn't fulfill it. I can't believe time passes so fast. Soon, it'll be a year gone and I'll be another year older. It's unbelievable that I've already spent like 2 semesters here in UWA. It's quite amazing how time flies.

2 semesters of full blown emotions. This year is the year where nearly all of my emotions surfaced. And in full blast mode. I guess I'm not as independent as I like to think I am. I'm very dependent on friends. Once I'm alone, emoness washes over me, leaving me vulnerable to a lot of things. I have to learn to keep that away. Will I be able to do that?

Anyway, for the past 4 days, I was away down South at Denmark (It's in Western Australia) and Albany. It was hell lot of fun! My perspective on some people changed drastically during this camp. I guess when they say 'you can't judge a book by its cover', they are right. This is one lesson that I learnt. The down south trip was AWESOME! By the way, I'm beginning to keep saying the word awesome. It's such an awesome word! xD

The scenery down south was SPECTACULAR! The scenery was absolutely breathtaking. Our God is indeed a great and wonderful God. I stood on the rocks above the ocean, taking in the cold and chilly sea breeze. It was so wonderful. It's just so freaking peaceful down there. It's a great relaxing thing to do right before I go back to the hustle and bustle of city life.

The fellowship was really awesome too! There were 19 of us that went down South in 3 cars, a Tarago, IMax and a Holden. It was so fun! Road trips are absolutely the BOMB! I want to do it every semester. I hope I have the money. Haha

Speaking of money, my mom wants me to work T___T She managed to find me a job (technically it's my uncle in Singapore) at a civil engineering firm. Not sure if I could get it. I'm having mixed feelings here. I want to work to get the experience and money. But I want to have fun at the same time too. Sigh. It's so troublesome to think eh.

Anyhow, I'm going to Singapore tonight. And Malaysia on 30th. Hope I have a great time! By the way, here are some of the pictures that I took while I was down South.

This is when I'm up on the 61 meters high tree. Scary yo!

This is the sunset. Awesome view.

Looking at the sea on the rocks. =D

This is a view of the sea as we pass by Albany. That, my dearies, is a Cruise Ship.

Lonely...

2009-11-21T16:18:00.002+08:00

I'm now all alone at home. My housemates have flown back to Malaysia. Sigh. The house is so quiet. Making me emo~~

Anyway, I'll be going down south for 4 days next week. Then I'll be flying off to Singapore on Friday night, reaching on Saturday morning (Freakishly early in the morning). Hm... Can't wait.

Feeling so down that I don't feel like blogging much. Looking forward to be with people~

Bury the hatchets?

2009-11-15T18:40:00.002+08:00

Things might not return to the same, scars shall always be there. I'm just gonna see how is the wound going to heal and to what extend will the wound heal. The emotional wound is a very tricky thing. It takes a long time to heal. Like most people say, time is a great healer. I'm not saying that it is not. But yet, time is probably one of the more complicated things in life. Some say that time is a great healer but some says time is cruel. How can something be good and bad at the same time?

It is probably like fire. There is a saying that goes like "Fire is your best friend when it is small and your enemy when it is big and uncontrollable". Time is somewhat similar to this, and yet there is a significant difference to it. Gosh. I don't know what am I rambling on now.

Why is life so tough? Why isn't there a reset button for life? No. Suicide is definitely not an option here. Yea yea. With suicide, you can run away from it. But my religion teaches me that Suicide is bad. And I don't plan to suicide anytime soon, nor for the rest of my time on earth. So people out there, don't worry.

Time to bury the hatchet, put the past behind me and try to do my own damage control now... Sigh. I'm always stuck with damage control. Someone help me do it? xD

Mistake?

2009-11-15T08:38:00.002+08:00

Mistakes. Everyone makes them. Not many learn from them. Even throughout history, you can see that the once great leaders made severe mistakes and that led to the death of thousands. Thank God that my mistakes normally just involves me, myself and I. But the emotional cut is sometimes too hard to bear.

There are many decisions in life that I really regretted. Basically, coming to Perth is one. I still have 3 more years here in Perth. 3 years later, would I look back and just laugh at myself for regretting at this decision, just like how I laugh at myself for once hating Chong Hwa with a vengeance?

Basically for those who knows me extremely well, or maybe even for those who just know me on the surface, they might know that I am a person who seriously hates to be left out. I thought after moving in with friends, I wouldn't be feel that way anymore. But guess what? I'm wrong. Which led me to a point to question my own choice. Did I make the right choice to move in with them? But I guess it's kinda too late to change my mind again. I have to just stick with it. Sigh. This is seriously hell...

All I can do now is just pray for a peace of mind. And not think about it anymore. I asked my Cell leader what to do. She told me to tell them. I guess I will tell them, if they do it another time. But probably they were unintentional, but I don't know and I don't wanna know.

I just want to have friends...

THE END!

2009-11-10T17:05:00.002+08:00

I'm no longer a freshman. As of today, I don't need to study a SHIT until next year! How great is that? Whoa. The feeling of freedom is so nice, so sweet. I can finally go back to being bored again. And yet, I think just within a few short days, I would say that I'm bored, and bored, and more bored. Ironic hey?

Anyhows, I'm having my long holidays. How will I spend it? I seriously don't know. I guess this would be one of the most lonely holidays ever. Sigh. But I will find peace in this season of lonelyness. One of my main objective this holiday is to grow stronger spiritually. Gonna seek Him even more.

So basically, I've finished my first year at UWA. Ah... The sentimental feeling is falling upon me now. One year in UWA. It is really unrealistic if I think of it sometimes. I mean like 1 year ago, I wouldn't ever imagine myself to be here in Australia. I've always thought that I would be in US at around this time. Since young, I wanted to be in US. However, the reality is that I'm here in Australia. It is weird how fate won't go the way you want it to go.

So here I am, close to being 1 year here in Perth. February 8th. It was the first day I touched down here in Perth. I would always remember the date.

Anyway, I'm off to drink to celebrate the end of exams. Till then.

3 more days~

2009-11-07T14:45:00.002+08:00

It's gonna be the final of the final battle of the year. 3 more days time. Tuesday. 9 till 12.10. The final battle. Of. The. Year. I just can't wait for this to finish. Then I have take a break for the rest of the year. That is, until the results come out and I cry about it for a while, then I'll continue to be happy, until 22nd of Feb, when University reopens. Sigh...

I seriously can't wait for my finals to end. This has been one of the most stressing finals of my life. I've never ever been that stressed out for an exam before, not in Inti, not in Chong Hwa, and most certainly not in primary school. I guess it is true that they say University is kind of stressful. No wonder people go crazy when they study in University.

Speaking of which, will I ever be able to graduate? I guess it's kinda early to mention about graduation as it is just my first year of University. But this question never cease to exist in my mind. I'm so scared of failing a subject and end up not being able to graduate, let alone get my most dreamt first class honors degree. Oh well. Before worrying about that, I should be worrying about the exam that I have on Tuesday...

Kinda screwed up for this exam. This exam takes up 50% of the subject. As for the coursework of the other 50%, I got only like 33.5%. Hm... By Inti standards, I'll be looking at a C or a B-. But the system here in Australia is so different from the system I've ever been in. There is this stupid thing called scalling. If the mean results of the subject is not in the expected range, the results is scaled. Don't ask me how it really works. I don't know and don't intend to know. It's kinda stupid...

On a side note, I'm going to go back to South East Asia in about 20 more days time! First stop, Singapore. Second stop, KL, aka HOME SWEET HOME! I can't believe that the first time I came to Perth, I told like nearly everyone saying that I won't go back to Malaysia until 4 years later. What a joke. I guess home is where the heart is...

I should start concentrating on my studies now. Wish me luck. I need loads of luck and concentration. Till then!

Changing

2009-11-03T08:29:00.002+08:00

I was just blogwalking through most of my friends' blogs. I found out something in common with nearly all my readings. Everyone changed and they yearn to change back to the old self. This is also the same case with me. I guess everyone is starting to feel the pains and cruelty of the real world. We are not shielded by our parents anymore and thus we don't live in our perfect little world anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if we could just recreate the old times. Yea yea. I know the world is like the cold blooded serial killer, but can't we just stop looking at the reality just for a minute or two? I just want to relive the old times for a minute. Sigh.

Some say changes are good. But what if I don't want to change? Everything happens for a reason. That is what they all say. It's not that I don't believe that, but it's that I choose to wish for the old good times to prolong. While just sitting here in front of the computer, I could list you like a million happy things that happened to me AND yet still feel emo.

Probably it's time for me to change perspective and look it from another angle. Perhaps I should see the glass as half full instead of half empty. I've always said that I don't want to be emo or something close to that (for example, saying I'm not going to be dodgy anymore), but it is quite hard to change your personality after it is incorporated in you for like months or years already.

Changes doesn't happen in a snap of the finger. NOTICING changes happen in a snap of the finger. Changes take a long time to complete, and even when you think it is complete, it is actually still changing. I guess this is like the wonders of changing. Normally, when noticing the changes, it is too late. Too late to do anything. The damage has been done. You can probably try to re-change it again, but it would be a tough one. It is always harder to revert stuff. Hard to write backwards, hard to say the reverted alphabets out loud, hard to walk backwards all the way... It is because we are just too used to the changes.

Ironic isn't it?

Changes. Whether you like it or not, just deal with it. You have no other choice.

Anyway, back to studies. Toodles...

Finals soon!

2009-10-30T02:50:00.002+08:00

So the last day of University came. And it went. Sigh. How time passes hey? I'm now in the midst of preparing for my finals. And oh boy. This is the time where I seriously become emo. Why so? It's because I don't understand a *beep* of my studies. I don't even know why am I studying for it. Sigh. Why is my comprehension of my study materials so low. I need to understand all of it! I bet that Greek would be wayyyy much more easier than these *beep* I'm studying for.

But oh well. I look forward to the euphoric sense of emancipation that will come after 10th of November. Sweet sweet freedom for the next few months until my 2nd year of University starts. Ah. The joy and wonders of holidays. Not to mention the boredness. LOL

Anyhow, I SHOULD EFFING BE STUDYING NOW!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE POSTING THIS BLOG POST?

Nah. I'm just bored out of my mind. But still, it's 2.53am now as I type this post. I should be in bed. No dirty thoughts there. Tsk tsk. Don't think dirty, 'kay? Hehe. I blame it on the caffeine. It makes me hyper and hard to concentrate. HOWEVER, I need it to stay awake. Ironic much?

Wish me luck for my finals =D

Peace out....

Last day of uni

2009-10-24T01:14:00.002+08:00

Sigh. The last day of my first year of University classes. So uneventful. Nothing much to talk about. Feeling kinda nostalgic. But I have a feeling that my University life is kind of at a turning point. I hope it is a turn for the better, and not for the worse.

When I think back, I seriously don't know what have I achieved in this year of University. But then again, thinking back to Inti, I don't think I've achieved much too. Hehe. No difference there. I hope to have a difference when I finish and graduate with a degree.

Let's see. Finals is coming really soon. In just a few more days time, I'll be sitting for my finals. Sigh. I'm kinda scared but then, I'm too lazy to study xD

Wish me luck anyway. I cbb blogging. No mood.

It has been a while

2009-10-21T11:50:00.002+08:00

It has been a while since I've blogged. And it has been a while since I came to Perth. In about 3 days time, my life as a first year university student will come to an end. Nostalgic? I guess so. So much of stuff has happened in the short period I have been here in Perth, both good and bad.

I've learn a lot of things since I came. A lot more than I can imagine. It makes me scared actually because I've not yet seen the whole wide world, but yet I've already started to feel intimidated. Life is not a bed of roses, how truly said. There are just too many obstacles in life. I'm not sure if I'm ready to cross these obstacles. When I fall, would I just stay there and cry? Or will I pick up myself and brush away the dust?

I've came a long way since. And in a few months time, it will be my 20th year on earth. How time passes. It's so fast! Sigh. I wish time would be less cruel and crawl by when my happy times come xD

Anyway, some update on my life here in Perth. Lazy to upload pictures though. Haha. But anyhow, I've moved into a new house. Note to self 1: NEVER MOVE HOUSE. House moving is one of the biggest hassle in life. I never knew I could accumulate so much stuff in just a short of period of time I'm here in Perth.

Note to self 2: Never assemble everything in one day. Your hands will kill you. On the bright side, I have a fully furnished room, and most of it was furnished by yours truly =D. The sense of achievement is overwhelming. I feel so proud. LOL

Anyway, I hope everything goes well for the presentation that is going to be held today. I don't wanna repeat this unit anymore...

A fat ass liar

2009-10-09T07:57:00.002+08:00

I'm a fat ass liar. Yea yea. I promised that I won't be emo but guess what? I've been emo-ish again. Surprise surprise. Oh well. I guess that would be part of life. But gosh! I hope it doesn't evolve into depression. I probably should get my ass out from Perth to a happier place before depression comes. Hm.... Wishful thinking much?

Anyway, I haven't been blogging much. Can't seem to find the heart to do so. A lot of things have happened for the past few days. My feelings are just so mixed up now that I don't even know what am I feeling now. This is just like high school again where I don't know much about love. I guess I'm still a 'noob' at this love game. Sigh...

I'm so scared of loving again. I'm scared of getting hurt in a relationship again. I just can't bear it. I think if I get hurt here in Perth, I will lose my mind. All of my mind I think, since I've already lost my mind partially xD

Finals are soon to be here in less than a month. It's kinda scary how time passes so fast. Soon, my second semester in UWA is coming to an end and that signifies the end of my first year in UWA! 1 down, 3 more to go. Sigh. Time passes really really fast.

On another note, I want to get a piercing on my left ear and a tattoo on my leg. I'm sure that my parents will kill me if I did that but hey! I think it is cool! I reckon that I will regret it in the future but I'll just leave that for the future. Getting a piercing and a tattoo here in Perth is extremely pricey. I will try to get myself a job first before getting the piercing and tattoo. I wonder what my parents will do after seeing me with those?

唉。好久没用华语写部落格了。通常当我用华语的时候，是我蛮脆弱的时候。那么我这次为什么脆弱呢？答案很简单－－就是爱情。我真的不明白为什么爱情可以弄到我这么烦恼。我怎么不可以爱上一个已经爱上我的人？我为何要去爱一个不会对我怎样的人？

在个＇单行爱＇的路真的很辛苦啊。你看着你爱的人用＇特别＇的眼神去看别人，你的心就会碎成一万片。你会不断地问：＂为什么他不会看上我。。。＂

其实我到现在还没跟朋友说我真的喜欢的人。不好意思说出口耶。如果给你们知道肯定会吓死你们。哈哈。

我要回马来西亚。回到那边，我就不会看到你，我的心就会慢慢恢复原状。好期待回家哦。。。

October IS COMING!

2009-09-29T17:55:00.003+08:00

Gosh! October is coming soon! And the weather is getting better, not that cold anymore, Thank GOD! And the sun is starting to come out longer! It's about 6pm now, and there is still SUNLIGHT! Can't be more happier to see that!

I live to see the sunlight. I love the sunlight. I'll be extremely emo if I don't see the sunlight. But now, HAPPY DAYS ARE COMING! I love you sunlight!

I'm being overly hyper. I can't wait for the emo side of me to just drop away and not come back for a period of time. I guess I've been emo quite a lot lately. But oh well. All's well that ends well? I hope so xD

Anyway, I should be getting back to my studies. Gonna head home at around 6.30pm probably. Please still be there sunlight!

The countdown starts

2009-09-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

63 more days till I leave Perth! Then I'll be in Singapore for a few days, and back HOME next! Can't wait to go back to my own home. Can't wait to see my little doggy (probably not that little now).

But first, I've gotta go thru finals first T__T

Post Holiday Stress

2009-09-15T20:10:00.002+08:00

Holidays can be a blessing and a bitch. Sigh. Let me sum up why so.

Before Holidays: I WILL STUDY HARD! I WILL STUDY DURING THE BREAK! I WILL MANAGE TO CATCH UP ON MY ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDIES!

During Holidays: Ah. There is still so much time. I'll just do it tomorrow!

After Holidays: OMG! SCREW IT! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DURING THE HOLS! HOW AM I GOING TO MANAGE TO FINISH MY ASSIGNMENTS IN TIME! I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW TOO! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! *dies*

There. Understood?

I don't know why but suddenly, it's like everyone wants to change majors. It's either changing disipline within engineering or just changing majors or even to changing universities. Sigh. This makes everyone so emo-ish. It makes me think at times. Have I made the wrong choice of taking Engineering here at UWA? Hm... I guess I'll never know..

On a lighter note... I have the freaking HAY FEVER. For those who doesn't know what is it, let me just sum it up for you. My nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, except for the fact that instead of water, it's mucus. I tell you ar. Everytime I fling my head, my mucus would just fly out of my nose and land somewhere. It's like a water bazooka. And my eyes keep tearing up too. Sigh. Tears just keep flowing out of my eyes, non stop. It's like I'm crying 24/7. How embarrassing >.<

Anyway, I'm just blogging to run away from studying. I have a test tomorrow! Wish me luck yea!

It's the study break

2009-09-08T08:06:00.002+08:00

I still remember before the study break, I swore I would study everyday. But sigh. Even the best laid plan of mice and men often go awry. Up till today, I still haven't started on anything. And the nearest time that I would have time to study is Friday. Sigh. I'm dead.

Anyway, nothing much has been happening lately. Just went drinking at Dex's house on Sunday. And today, I'm going drinking at Adrian's house. LOL. Drinking spree. Haven't had drinking sprees for a long time already.

You know what is the death of me? GENG1003 and Dynamics. These 2 subjects are killing me slowly. Hm.... Will I survive this semester? We shall see =D

This is a super short and random post. Sigh. I'm just running away from doing my research... This is bad...

Parents Love

2009-09-05T23:03:00.002+08:00

In Australia, tomorrow is Father's Day. I went to my church service today. The pastor talked about a father's love. As he preached, I think back to my parents. I think this is the first time in Perth that I miss my parents. Sigh.

Thinking back, I squabble a lot with my parents. But the more I think about it, the more I noticed that my parents changed a lot. I think they really do love me.

I remember there was a time last time whenever I call my dad, I would get pissed off a little. It's because he was working, most probably having an appointment with his client, and he just told me to call him back in an irritated voice. But after a few years (I totally forgot how many years later), he changed. He took his time to answer me and in a polite tone too.

When I was younger I remember there was once I stole money from my dad. One day, he found out. And oh boy. Was both of my parents angry at me. It was a Saturday, I still remember. They found out in the morning. In the evening, my dad and I went to the night market. On the way there, my dad hugged me and said "Don't do this anymore, I still love you". Till this day, I remember those words and the warm fuzzy feeling that accompanied it.

Now, I'm in Perth. My family is not the really rich kind of family. We have enough money just to get through our lives. But with me here in Perth studying for 4 years, I'm going to use up all of the family savings. I feel really bad. My parents back in Malaysia cut down on a lot of luxuries. By those actions, I think they really love me.

The first day I was back in Malaysia for my winter break, I was fetched by my dad from the airport. He took the time from his tight schedule to fetch me. Sigh. And then I called my mom who was working. She told me to look into the oven when I'm home. After reaching home, my dog greeted me happily. I was so glad. Needless to say, I ran towards the oven after reaching home. There was a cake waiting for me there! Chocolate cake too! YUMMY!

I love my parents a lot now. And today, I miss them. I pray that they will have good health. For this Christmas, I think I'm going to buy something back for my parents and attach a note saying how grateful I am to them. It's high time I show my gratefulness and love back to my parents.

Mom, Dad I LOVE YOU!

It's the Hols!

2009-09-05T11:11:00.002+08:00

The week-long study break is finally here. I can take a short breath for a while. Sigh. This holiday won't be a break from study but it'll be a break FOR study. Sad much?

Anyhow, nothing much that I want to blog about. Haha. But I noticed that I've became a loner. Sigh. Oh well. I guess I'll have to get used to being like this for the time being. I can expect to be with people all the while. Somehow, I find peace in being alone sometimes. Just like me walking along Matilda Bay. It was kinda relaxing.

I sometimes think I'm annoying. Because on MSN, I always find people first before they chat with me. Sigh. But I can't help it. I just wanna chat....

Speaking of chat, I think that since I came here to Perth, my chatterbox nature has decreased by a significant amount. I'm talking much much more less now. I don't know why is this so but I'm scared. It means I'm changing. I don't know it's for the good or for the worse, but I'm still scared all the same. I used to be able to talk a lot, but after coming here to Perth, I've toned down a lot. I don't like it.

Uni life is tough

2009-09-04T00:56:00.003+08:00

It's Friday (Technically Thursday night =D)!!!!! Today signifies the last day of the 7th week of University for the 2nd semester!!! I hereby declare that Uni SUCKS!

I just read a small yet touching story. This is just a summary =D

There was this young girl who just moved into a very very old flat. As she was young and poor, she couldn't really afford a nice flat. Her neighbours were very poor people too. So there was this one night where electricity was cut. There wasn't any light at all. Luckily for this girl she has candles to light. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. After opening the door, she saw the little girl staying next door to her. They must be begging for candles! They are so poor that they can't even afford candles! I shan't give them any candles if she begs me for it! She thought.

"Do you have any candles?", asked the little girl.
"I'm sorry but I don't have any, little one," answered the young girl.
The little girl's face lit up with glee and said "My mom told me that you're staying all alone by yourself and you might not have any candles! I've brought over two candles for you to use!"

Upon hearing that, the young girl just broke into tears. Here was a little girl who is living a minimal life but yet still willing to give things to people in need.

This is what the world needs. This is what I will strife to do.

'tis the season...

2009-09-03T00:28:00.002+08:00

This the season to be emo, fa la la la la la la la la~~~

Why is everyone so emo these days? Even I'm so emo. LOL. But anyhow, after being emo, I found out who my true friends are. Although they are not with me currently, but they shall always be in my heart. I love you true friends =D

Anyway, I just wanna blog saying WHY THE HELL MUST PEOPLE LIE ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS? For goodness sake! Why lie about your mark? If you got full marks, BE PROUD ABOUT IT! Gosh! This is like so lame! Such a small thing also wanna lie... Sigh... What is the world coming to anyway...

In a lighter note, I've decided to get more active in Church cum Cell activities. I won't turn down any request for me to do anything, eg. refreshments, worship etc etc etc. I'm always at your service, ready to go =D

University is being a bitch currently. There are assignments to finish and tests to take. Sigh. 7 weeks into 2nd semester University life and I'm sick and tired of it already. I seriously think that the University should contemplate using this method. Having classes for one week and having holidays for one week. Screw the long holidays. I rather have short bursts of holidays in between the study time, this way I can relax!!

I'm currently stocking up on a lot of junk food. Junk food IS MY LIFE! I'm so gonna gain weight now T___T. On the bright side though, WINTER IS COMING TO AN END! As of 22nd September 2009, Spring is going to be officially HERE! Heat is here! YAY! Heaters can be put away already finally. Phew! =D

It's 12.35am now. I should be studying now. That is what I'm gonna go do now! Till then peeps!

Extreme emo post alert

2009-09-02T00:33:00.002+08:00

It's 12.34am. I have a test at 9am later. I'm very stressed out for this test. This is seriously like the first time I'm taking a maths test without really understanding the things that are going to be tested. I'm extremely worried and stressed....

I was at my University's laboratory studying till about 12am. I declined Dex to fetch me home. I guess that is a stupid move. In the end, I walked home alone. Alone with my shadow as a partner.

I've evolved into something I'm scared of, a loner. I never wanted to be a loner. But under these circumstances, I've became a loner. I don't wanna be a loner. I want to have many friends all around me....

I seriously miss those times I was in Malaysia when I was surrounded by friends. Where is the feeling? Someone help me find it back?

Btw, thanks to those who cheered me up in MSN. I appreciate you guys =D
I just wished that I can be with you all...

Seize the day

2009-08-30T15:51:00.003+08:00

After these many years on earth, I learnt something important, and that is to seize every moment. Savour it. Enjoy it. This is a tough lesson learnt, I swear. Carpe diem, or seize the day, after translation, has always been my motto of my life. Yet, I seldom apply it in my life.

After coming to University, I learnt that the best years of my life aid in my high school years. Those were the years when I was the happiest. Yes, there is no denying that there are downs. But however, the ups during my high school years were genuine ups. Those were the real happiness. The real laughters, the real fun.

It's when I started my uni years that I learnt to fake a laughter, fake a smile. Some people say that this is important, but I digress. It's not what I'm meant to do. However, as I progess onto the stepping stone into society, I felt myself letting go of my real indidual self. I lost the real me, and in place, I faked a Raymond there. As i learnt in psychology last time, this is one of the defense mechanism of men.

However, I guess it's time to stop faking. It's time for me to be who I really am. I have a goal, a mission to accomplish. It's high time that I fulfill it. I still need a lot of time trying to fit into this new society here in Perth. But mark my words. Once day I succeed. I shall be famous and I shall be glad with what I have.

At times I'm alone, but I need to know that I'm actually not alone. I have true friends, but just not next to me now. I have family too, but yet also not next to me now. But I know one sure thing. I have God with me all the while. His joy shall me my strength of which I will strife on.

The last straw

2009-08-24T21:25:00.002+08:00

Yes! This is the effing last straw! I don't want anymore shit from you guys anymore. Excuses my arse. Please go shove a pole up your ass. I ain't not gonna take anymore shit from you. Please go kill yourselves and make the world a better place asshole...

Surrealism

2009-08-23T23:57:00.002+08:00

I wake up everyday and the first thing I feel is that I've been doing that for the past 19 years of my life. Well, technically, I have been waking up everyday for the past 19 years of my life. LOL. But the surrealism steps in when I go brush up and head to university. It feels like I have been doing this for a long time.

It seriously doesn't seem that I'm studying in the Land Down Under, aka, Australia. I just feel like I'm home. It's a weird feeling. I don't know how to explain it. It is just surreal when I tell myself I'm actually in Australia and not in Malaysia. It feels surreal that I'm living by myself and being independent.

I always wonder that if I didn't apply to UWA and just head off to US, would I be happier? Or should I have taken UEC and probably go to Singapore instead to study? Sigh. I always wonder about this and that. There are just too many things in life that I regret. Why can't I just peek into the future to see what will happen if I made the choice and finally just choose the best path?

I guess I should feel blessed that my family can afford to send me overseas to study. But I can't shake off the feeling of uneasiness away. I'll just try to make the best out of it.

Anyway, about my last post, I think I have the solution. I shall continue treating people how I want them to treat me, without considering how they treat me. LOL. I know it might sound complicated and weird, but that is what I'm adviced to do and I will do it. I shall remember Your words.

40 hour famine aftermath

2009-08-22T15:16:00.002+08:00

After an agonizing 40 hours, I've finally finished my mission! Yay! 40 hours of no solid food was seriously tough! Just imagine the torture when you can't eat while you look at others enjoy their food. Oh gosh! I never knew 40 hours could mean 40 thousand years! I just broke fast with my cell members. We ate KFC. Haha. I know. It's a little ironic. But hey! 40 hours is no easy feat!

Hm.. What did I learn from this experience? Well.. I can still be a little energetic after fasting for about 24 hours. Haha. I managed to walk back home from my cell leaders house after 24 hours of fasting, which was about 600m away. Not too bad hey!

Lee Mun also joined me in this incredible feat of 40 hours of fasting. Not too bad for spiritual growth I guess. I hope that we will grow moer spiritually.. On a lighter note, I'M GONNA HAVE STEAMBOAT TONIGHT WITH MY CELL MEMBERS! YAY!

Oh yea. I've learnt something today too. Calling everyone to go to a certain place doesn't mean that you will get invited to go for outings with those people in the future. I've learnt this the hard way. Anyhow, I won't be asking them out anymore, I guess. But somewhere deep within me, I know I shouldn't do that. What happened to my life motto that goes "Do unto people what you want people to do unto you" Sigh.

I guess under some circumstances, it would be hard to stick to my motto. But I guess I should try to stick to it. It would be hard though. Give me strength God...

I seldom (or should I say never) encountered these kind of problems in Malaysia. Sigh. Why people in Perth are so self-centered? Not all in general. But SOME. I hope you don't take this the wrong way >.<

DIE PLEASE

2009-08-20T22:02:00.002+08:00

YES! YOU OVER THERE! DIE! I'm talking about Dynamics, a subject that I'm taking now. OMFG! It's so freaking hard! It can go and die in Timbuktu is all I care! GRRR! The subject makes me so freaking annoyed and pissed off at the same time! Why the hell must this subject be invented?
As a torture material? I swear it can go like this...

Captured Prisoner: I WON'T TELL YOU MY SECRET
Captor: Yes you shall. Behold the power of this dynamic question! Solve it!
Captured Prisoner: NOOOOooo... I can't solve it! I'll tell you all of my secrets!

Sigh. Can someone go kill this subject for me please? The reward shall be my gratitude, and mind you, my gratitude is hard to come by. Bwahahaha.

On a ligher note, I'm joining in the 40 hour famine! Basically in this activity, I can literally fast from anything for 40 hours! I can fast food, fast furniture, fast homework, fast talking, fast breathing etc etc. LOL. I chose to fast from gossipping. Gawd. It's gonna be hard. And a new addition, I'm going to fast from eating too, I hope I can go on for 40 hours without eating! Wish me luck!

And if you're in Perth, COME DONATE TO THIS GOOD CAUSE! I'm fasting gossip and food because I wanna raise funds for the poverty stricken countries! Support me!